Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Top Ten things to do on a bunny rabbits' list...

Rabbits aren't exactly on the top of my agenda list when it comes to writing what I think about on a daily basis. But seeing a rabbit attempt to outrun a truck recently, coupled with having seen a street full of dead animal carcasses (which I fondly recall naming "The massacre on Thoele street") the year before and actually killing a running rabbit the year before that have provided enough inspiration to come up with a new Top Ten list of what bunny rabbits would have on their "To-Do Lists" if they weren't so busy attempting suicide, of course....

  • 10.) Officially blame Thumper, of Bambi, for the bunny-rabbits' downfall in society. Punishment? Execute the jerk. Not that things were great before Bambi, but Thumper didn't help by annoying millions. 9.)Shave off my tail. The cute puffy tail hasn't helped my image thus far. 8.) Sue the company that makes rabbit feet into good luck charms, those sick bastards. 7.)Create a birth control pill for all the rabbits. Think of the money I could make. Note to self: Steer clear of paved roads. 6.) Officially blame the Trix rabbit for the bunny-rabbits' downfall in society. Punishment? He has to eat his own damn cereal for the rest of his life. The Trix on you, silly rabbit. 5.) Eat some grass and mess up someone's garden. Note to self: Steer clear of paved roads. 4.) Try to find a gig with the Cadburry Egg Company. It's never too soon for Easter. Remember that rabbit in last year's commercial, the one who looked like he wanted to kill himself? That was my cousin Roofus. He ran across a paved road. 3.) Sit awkwardly when a human approaches and act like everything's cool. Then when the human stops at the sight of me, munch my grass ever so slowly, thinking of my next move. THEN, hop away like a crazy fool and repeat cycle. Note to self: Steer clear of paved roads. 2.)Run randomly across paved roads, especially when I see a large, loud metal structure coming straight for me. 1.) ..................
Like everyone else, I am going to die. But the words – the words live on
for as long as there are readers to see them, audiences to hear them. It is
immortality by proxy. It is not really a bad deal, all things considered.
-J. Michael Straczynski

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