The Palestine Papers prove that we can't trust anybody. I'm not just talking about the Palestinian Authority, the U.S. government or Israel here. I'm talking about your mom, your dentist or your cat.
Josh McDaniels signed on as the Rams offensive coordinator. During the interview, Steve Spagnuolo asked "Is that a video camera in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?", to which McDaniels replied, "Oh, it's definitely a video camera."
Here's to hoping this leads to a last second field goal to win the superbowl over the Patriots. Only then will I start to let go of the past. Maybe.
Earlier this week, Macy Gray asked fans on her facebook page if she should go ahead with a concert in Tel Aviv. While she acknowledged that what the Israeli government is doing to Palestinians is "disgusting", she decided to go through with the concert because it "won't change anything."
She also called boycotters "assholes". The universe has commented that it is no coincidence that she has an album titled "The Sellout".
Macy Gray has since acknowledged that Rosa Parks should have just gotten up and moved to the back of the bus. Her words, not mine.
The Patriots lost to the New York Jets last week. Bill Belichick should've asked Tom Brady to take off his shoes and socks to distract Rex Ryan. Take one for the team, Tom.
American Idol is back. The judges are too nice. Steven Tyler needs to tell a male contestant that "Dude looks like a lady" and J. Lo needs to tell someone they're so bad, if they were a movie, they'd be Gigli.
Batman's next onscreen nemisis…Bane, who looks like he's ready to start for a major league baseball team.
Bane will be played by Tom Hardy, who won our hearts in Inception. Or who we just dreamed won our hearts in Inception. I don't know. Someone hand me a top.
Batman's next booty call is Selina Kyle, aka Catwoman, aka Princess Mia Thermopolis, aka padow!, aka host of the Oscars.
Boys everywhere are squealing with glee. I didn't mean that as a Glee pun because she'll be guest starring on the hit show. It just happened.
Ricky Gervais made rich, beautiful, and famous people cry at the Golden Globes. The world went to the streets in protest asking for his resignation until they realized he wasn't in any position of power.
Some people thought he was funny, except for a few of the stars who work so hard for public approval it practically kills their sense of self and a few people who don't know the stars but are pretty sure they'd be best friends if they actually met.
Angelina Jolie doesn't care either way. We know this because her life is perfect and she is beautiful.
Speaking of roast, no one here noticed some guy in Tunisia set himself on fire. At least the Tunisians noticed.
In South America, animals make their own news.
While birds in the U.S. are falling dead from the sky, a drug-smuggling pigeon was caught in Columbia. The pigeon later appeared on the local news saying, " What was I supposed to do? I have many children. There are no jobs. Who wants to hire a pigeon?". He then coo'ed and crapped on a car.
And if the story and photo of the dog in Brazil who wouldn't leave his dead owner's muddy graveside doesn't make you tear up just a little, you should probably start dealing drugs with a pigeon.
Community is so good, I hate you for not watching it. I wish I could drag you out of your stupidity and force you to watch it for your own good. I should throw an insane cat at you, then make you befriend a drug smuggling pigeon.
I challenge you to find television more hilarious, more entertaining, more watchable or more creative than episodes like, "Modern Warfare", "Epidemiology", or "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas". You suck.
