To Forgive is Not to Forget

I've been thinking a lot about the idea of forgiveness lately.

It's one of the hardest thing a person can do---to forgive. It's not just about pride, it's about trying to prevent a wrong from being committed...again. It's about having self esteem and not allowing someone to bring it down. It's about laying down boundaries and telling someone "You can't cross this one."

The "F" word is a tricky deal, especially when forgiveness pertains to friendship. You make a bargain with someone, trade some trust with the understanding that we will both value and handle it with care. Trust just happens to be the most fragile of valuables. We throw it back and forth until someone drops it, and then we wonder why we were so quick to toss it in the first place.

It is strange how the inner turmoil you tackle with before you reach forgiveness does not come with an expiration date. It takes its own time. You can't just snap your fingers and forgive, just like you can't just snap your fingers and trust. I only know that the deepest of broken trusts, like the deepest of scars, never actually fade. They're there as a reminder to teach you what your mind, like your body, can handle.

Yet, as soon as we're ready to forgive, a weight is lifted because we don't forgive for them, we forgive for ourselves. Still, we can never go back to square one thanks to a little thing called memory. As long as we have it, we never go back to the beginning. Life doesn't have one big rewind button. (But wouldn't it be great if it did?)

Even though we forgive at our own pace, apologies makes a big difference. Sometimes who tells you sorry-and means it-gives you this newfound option of forgiving sooner than later. They are telling you that you can rid of this pain now. Forgiveness doesn't mean you forget what they've done. It doesn't mean you give them an easy out or excuse their behavior. It only means you won't be held prisoner to their action anymore.

Look, I'm not saying that everyone deserves forgiveness or that people who can't forgive are necessarily wrong. I often wonder about people who are thrust into terrible situations and find the ability to forgive. I don't know if I'd be able to do that. I hope I never have to make that decision. But from sample size, I know that carrying around the burdon of their actions isn't yours to carry.

Think of your emotions like a meteorology report. Anger clouds your judgement. Your life becomes a stormy mess and it's up to you to pick up the debris left behind and clear away the mess. If you choose to forgive, don't forget what happened and ignore the warnings. Just move forward, keep your inner doplar on storm watch and enjoy the sunny days ahead.

What 20 Innings Will Teach You

With the Cards losing to the Mets, 2-1 in...get this... a 20 inning game, we learned a few things-

1. Lopez is all around entertaining:

Ladies and gentleman- he fields, he hits grand slams and now we know he can pitch a scoreless inning during a 20 inning marathon.

2. The longer a game lasts, the harder it is to leave:

I couldn't do anything else. Especially after the 11th inning. Not that I don't usually ignore things around me during Cards games, but this game left me alone in my house-in the dark-and refusing to communicate with anyone through anything more than a text.

3. The Mets really didn't want to win:

I know you're thinking, "But they won! The Cards lost!" Perhaps we should rewind to the ...18th inning (?), when LaRussa pretty much conceded the game by throwing utility guys Felipe Lopez, and in the two subsequent innings, Joe Mather, out on to the mound to play the role of pitcher. Why didn't the Mets score, like, eight runs?

Not to play "Mean Girl", but do they really like us or something? I know you will counter with the argument that the Cardinals didn't really seem to want to win either, but I have a theory. We'll get there. Just a few more...

4. Lopez and Mather take "utility" to a whole new level:

They will do anything. Let's see what else we can make them do!

5. Some people are too lazy to leave their nosebleed seats and move down to the luxury seats:

In one of the latter innings, the Fox camera was focused on one fan, then slowly panned out to show him sitting in the third upper deck all alone. Why are you so lazy and sad, drama queen?

6. McCarver becomes funny when the game gets too long:

I was annoyed with him in the beginning, as usual. He talked about Garcia's no-hitter from the third inning on. He kept saying things like, "This player NEVER..." and "This player ALWAYS..." as if to purposefully jinx them. Then, somewhere around the 14th inning, he became funny. Or maybe I got delirious.

7. We get geeky when they get human:

Nerd Alert! Every Cardinal fan I've talked to thus far cannot stop geeking-out over the inning Lopez pitched. We find it highly amusing and humorous that Lopez and other players (Like Wainwright! And Pujols!) were also cracking up at the situation. Call it infectious joy.

They usually spend a lot of time masking their emotions. It gets boring listening to the usual cliched remarks after every game. That was some real emotion in an unreal situation. And we loved it.

And how about a theory:

In the spirit of the final season of the epically awesome series Lost and Doc Jensen's lengthy, baffling, and "out-there" theories featured at ew.com, I couldn't help but come up with an explanation for this *illogical game.

*Illogical because we could not, for the life of us, score a run---even with our runners at second and third with NO OUTS in the 14th. Not a characteristic of a LaRussa team!

It may be crazy, but I couldn't shake the feeling that the Cardinals were stuck in a limbo world. It was almost like purgatory. It was as if the baseball powers were telling us,

"Big Mac as hitting coach? Not without a price! You must remain in this game against the only other team that will not score, the Mets (who are apparently on their way to Hell). Once you have suffered through the imposed penance and atoned for this sin, we will re-evaluate."

Yes. I was thinking this during the game. Hey, it was 20 innings long. Do you blame me?

When I Was Your Age...

There's a universal truth that people don't tell you, but you eventually realize for yourself. As you age, you start to become your parents. They told their stories about walking through the snow and we'd roll our eyes so many times, only people possessed by demons could rival us. But they were trying to push whatever point they were making across...usually when we were whining and complaining that we were victims of some unjust universe that chose us as the first group to torture in the history of mankind (prophets and minorities aside). I'm quite sure that when they were teenagers, they complained about the unfairness of some situation and their parents told them something about how they had to hunt for their food or flipped a coin for who'd be able to eat that day. You know, the usual.

You can probably FEEL yourself aging---not necessarily by the number of birthdays one celebrates, but by the number of things you vowed you'd never eat, do, or say... that you're now eating, doing, and saying. If you want to get a two hour explanation about how life generally works, pop The Lion King into the DVD player. Hummy yana, hummy hummy yanna..It's the circle of life....and it moves us all....

It's all very freaky. For the love of God, I want less frosting on my cake! If I told 10 year old me that in 16 years I'd take frosting OFF my cake, I wouldn't have believed older me and, again, just rolled my eyes-because at that age, rolling your eyes is one of the staples of being rebellious and yet the least rebellious way of showing your distaste for something.

But the kids these days-they don't appreciate anything! Yeah, mom and dad say that. Grandma and Grandpa say that. And now I'm saying it.

Everything is so instantaneous. They need to watch movies... in their cars...NOW. They can't wait until they get home...The Incredibles cannot wait! When driving behind some mini-van, I still find myself mesmerized, my eyes fixed on the glowing TV screen in front of me, and I think, "you stupid spoiled brats!" Probably the same thing old people said the first time they saw kids riding in a car instead of a carriage.

If their eyes aren't entertained at all times, then their ears need to be. These kids need to carry around 1,000 songs at all times. I mean, I get why they need it. Who knows if they'll need to alienate themselves from the world at a moment's notice.

Also, seriously, why does a 10 year old need a cell phone? Where is your child meandering about that they need to have you on-call to pick them up? And where are they going where there are no operable telephones or another adult's cellphone to call you from?

Truth be told, I'm jealous. I could've used portable DVD players on those car rides, alienated myself even further with IPods and I promise you I would've avoided the most unnecessary situations ever if I just had a damn cell phone in the vicinity when I was growing up. I'm sure it would've made my parents' lives a lot easier too. But I'm getting older and I have to point out the things I didn't have and the things I had to do to get by. This is the way of life (Hummy yanna, hummy hummy yanna). When these kids are older, they'll probably lament about how when they were younger, they had to drive to school instead of fly. They'll complain about how they had to watch T.V. instead of absorbing it. They'll probably tell their younger cousins about how they wore regular clothes instead of temperature controlled space suits or something.

Let the eye rolling begin! I want to tell these kids that we used to huddle around a gas heater and complain about who was taking up the most heat. You could probably tell who was abusing the heater space by the number of charred holes in their clothing. Our cat wasn't immune either. I don't know how many times I had to put out Kitty's tail. "Kitty!" I'd scream. "Your tail's on firrrrre!" (because you talk to your pet, like a member of the family, even though I'm pretty sure I've never said the words "Sho Sho! Your tail's on fire!") By the way, the cat didn't care. He just wanted warmth as much as the rest of us (which proved he was really one of us). It was damn cold, for sure.

When I was younger, we didn't always have heated water. Mom used to have to heat up the water over the stove and then pour it over our heads! Then we'd curse the country as we huddled by the gas heater, shivering from cold and anger. Heck, we didn't always have water! "No water today!?" one of us would ask in exasperation. "Damn those Israelis and their damn swimming pools" another would add, almost matter of factly.

Go ahead, ask me how much lunch money we took to school. First of all, lunch money wasn't always a given. But when we did get it, we'd be lucky if we had a shekel and a half, the equivalent of 45 cents at the time. We'd feel like we were oil tycoons if we got two and a half shekels. When we did get to the "lunch room", we had to fight for lunch. We'd be lucky if we got our lunch in time. Let me describe the jungle known as the lunch room. The lunch room looked like the commodities and futures trading pits of the NYSE. Or perhaps you've seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off? The scene where all the stock exchange dudes are screaming and gesturing their hands is pretty much what our lunch room looked like. It was survival of the fittest. Only the people who fought the hardest ate. Part of the challenge was getting the cafeteria man's attention. The other challenge was convincing them you already gave them your lunch money but they still hadn't given you your lunch. If you ordered something that they cooked there, you ran the risk of eating something that wasn't fully cooked. I sometimes gave away my pizza when the dough wasn't cooked. I tried to usually soldier through it, but sometimes I just couldn't eat uncooked dough (call me a spoiled little American). It was generally safer to eat something that was pre-packaged, like a candy bar. Of course, pre-packaged items weren't always danger proof. I once made the mistake of ordering a fruit drink that was expired and that the government had warned us not to drink. But I was a kid and I trusted that the fruit drink at school would be safe, even though mom also warned us. Ok, that's a lie. I knew the school I went to wouldn't put our safety first, but I was thirsty! And I only had a half shekel left, which was only enough to buy a Fruity! Needless to say, I had to stay home from school for a week due to food poisoning. You hear that, kids!? I was poisoned! So don't say your lunch food is like poison unless you are literally poisoned!

But that's neither here nor there. Part of accepting "the circle of life" is realizing the people before you always had it worse. No matter how cold you were, how thirsty you were or how food poisoned you were, the people before you walked barefoot in the snow, didn't try water until they were 8 and were lucky if they had cooked meat once a year. Just let them complain, so that when you're their age, you can return the favor to these spoiled little brats when they grow up and realize they've become their own parents.

Till we find our place...On the path unwinding...In the Circle....The Circle of Life!

Idiot's Guide to Being a Cards Fan

Things casual Cardinals fans must know in order to be accepted by more seasoned Cardinals fans...

1. There is only one appropriate spot to meet someone before a Cards game. That spot is the Stan Musial statue. If you attempt to meet anywhere else, you will find yourself deliriously circling the stadium like some stupid dinosaur or zombie with no sense of self or direction. This is not fun.

2. Do not scream and cheer for the pop-fly every single time. This lazy attempt to be the first to cheer for a "home run" that is obviously not a home run embarasses the rest of us sitting by you, for you.

3. Although it is fun to sit closer to the field down below because you're closer to the action, the people aren't as fun as the ones further up. The fans down below feel obligated to appear "civil" which, to them, means sitting quietly and only occassionally clapping politely. This is mistaken for civility, when in actuality it is an obvious waste of a seat and fan space. Perhaps we should learn a lesson from these games, and yes, the film Titanic. Having more money doesn't always mean more fun. The power is with you.

4. Having said that, if anyone ever offers you great seats, take them or give them to me.

5. The wave will die down if done at an inopportune time. Do not attempt to start the wave when we are about to score. People will forget to 'wave' and will cheer and clap instead, as they should.

6. It helps if you can differentiate between "hits", "runs" and "errors" on the scoreboard.

7. Know who we're playing that day. It shouldn't be hard, since the opposing team's name is lit up on the scoreboard.

8. Don't talk to me or get in my way while I'm watching the "Cap Dance" routine. I need to correctly answer which cap the baseball is under. So do thousands of other people.

9. About 5,000 people will always leave when there are 24-26 outs. They feel like leaving 5 minutes earlier than the rest of us will save them 2 hours. This is true for every game.

10. If you pay attention, you will know who's walking to the batter's box by their song alone. Case in Point:

• Yadier Molina-Sean Paul's "Temperature".
• Ryan Ludwick-Beastie Boy's "Funky Monkey".
• Albert Pujols- something Jesus-y
• Adam Wainwright-something Country

And songs from past players I will never forget:

• Scott Rolen-Limp Bizkit's "Rollin'"
• David Eckstein-Ludacris's "Number one spot"
• Mark Grudzielanek- Rob Thomas's "Lonely No More"

11. At some point in the future-should you become a seasoned Cards fan who watches a number of games- you'll discover that it's a good idea to mute the game on FSN-Midwest every once in a while to maintain your sanity. You should limit your exposure to Dan McLaughlin and Al Hrabosky or risk taking a bat to your television set. A sense of uncontrollable anger at one of their pointless/uninformative/childish comments is one of the many side effects you may suffer.

12. It's ok to yell at Cubs fans while you're at a game. Some of them deserve it. I've done it before.

13. Although the man is a genius, you are allowed to use the line, "Come ON, Tony" in total frustration during the following moments:

• When he makes his 12th pitching change.
• When the Cards make some amazing comeback and he refuses to even smile.
• When he puts Dennys Reyes in the game.

14. Dennys Reyes is the short, squat relief pitcher who allows hits no matter the game situation.

That's all for today. If anything else pops into my head, I'll make sure to update this list!

The Rules of Boater Shopping

I must have missed the memo. Apparently every boater immigrant who lives in America must shop like they did back home. If you were to find such memo, it would probably look something like the following-

Hello, How you are? You live in country with styoobid leaders bas nice stores. You must shob like smart berson. Not styoobid idiot. Here how:

1. Say "I want...(so and so)" and "Give me (so and so), not 'may I' or 'can I?' or 'can you'. Only styoobid peoples say this. Ex.- "I want the calling card" or "Give me Shawirma" or "Give me that".

2. Always ask, "You speak Arabic?" or "You speak Urdu?" It not matter where are you living. They must speak your language.

3. If you want the bread, ask for it in your language, no matter where you from and where workers from.

4. Order sandwich like you order coffee at the Stars and Bucks. Say, "Give me Shawirma. Give me no pickles. Give me light spice. Give me no onions. I want well done. Give me extra sauce. That first sandwich. For second sandwich, give me..."

5. Comblain on prices. They are so, so expensive. 'Why the bread cost this much? Why the sandwich cost this much? Why the yogurt cost this much?' It is too much! If you buy many things, and cost is too high for you, you say "WOW! That is too much!" Sometimes screaming like monkey in jungle (even if you are dragging oxygen tank around) helbs to lower price.

6. Say, "You looks tired" to workers. They can not hear it enough.

7. Ask for workers to cut sandwiches 10 minutes after you get sandwiches. It not matter if there are 20 beoble in front of you.

8. Leave shobbing carts 8 miles away from store. Workers like searching for carts.

9. Ask for white sauce ingredients. We want the secret. Keeb asking until someone is styoopid and tells you secret.

10. Ask for calling card that you see not there. Then act very, very disabboint. Stand there for 10 minutes to decide what to do next. More drama, better.

And that was memo for today. Make sure you bring your bad kids to leave chocolate bieces all over floor. They must be loud.

one thousand and one thanks,

Boater in Chief

Life Reflections in Disney

I'm an over-analyzer. So much so, in fact, that I prefer essay questions in tests over multiple choice. Maybe because I prefer to prove how much I understand in writing (figures), but multiple choice questions make me feel like the poster child for ADHD. My mind often works like this...

Ok, I want to choose A, because B sounds stupid. But wouldn't C, all of the above, ACTUALLY WORK? Is that what the instructor wants me to choose? You know, technically...hey, is that a bagel? I didn't know you could bring bagels into the test. Wait, I hope no one sees me looking. I'm not cheating. I don't have to cheat. I studied. Crap, I've been spending at least 2 minutes on this question. That average time wasted per question won't leave me enough time to finish this exam. So A, B, or C? Ok, I have to skip this and come back. I hope my stomach growling is not loud enough to distract other people. I think the person next to me just flinched. I'm sorry that it sounds like the Hulk is trying to get out of my stomach. I ate 2 hours ago. I thought I was good. Didn't someone say that C is most likely the correct answer if you can't decide? Or should I go with my initial choice. Damn this teacher and his trickery! Damn him!

I wish I could honestly tell you this is an exaggeration. But it is not. So now you understand the scope of my problem. That said, I was thinking about famous characters from Disney and how they actually represent people you may come across in life. Some of these character traits are a little exaggerated (unless someone is literally trying to usurp your rightful place as king, for example) and some are pretty much right on. You decide who these people represent in your life. In no particular order:

1. Beast (Beauty and the Beast, duh): Looks tough, but is sensative deep down inside. Tries to hide sensativity with a crazy temper. Probably Arab-which explains the hairyness.

2. Captain Hook (Peter Pan): The person that won't let something go. There's persistance and then there's obsessive. Seriously, just let go. It'll improve your health.

3. Centipede (James and the Giant Peach): The person that doesn't know their boundaries. They will keep going until they literally put your group in danger or fighting ensues. Don't be surprised if the cops get involved. Everyone's yelled at them at some point.

4. Doc (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs): The person too old to be hanging out with you. They should probably hang it up and join some sort of harmless, organized fun (i.e. Bingo). Otherwise they'll complain about how their wild days are over the whole time.

5. Dory (Nemo): You hated them to begin with. They still say the stupidest things. It took you a while to appreciate them, but you eventually came around. You might even enjoy their company now. Tell 'em you used to hate them just for the hell of it. They won't care.

6. Fifi the Featherduster (Beauty and the Beast) : Known for promiscuity and sex appeal. This person ain't called the "featherduster" for no reason. (See also-Jessica Rabbit of Who Framed Roger Rabbit)

7. Flotsam and Jetsam (The Little Mermaid): Every a-hole has an entourage. They do nothing but encourage the idiocy of said a-hole. They laugh at all the jokes, provide annoying commentary on mundane situations, and plot evil things. Their eyes might give it away.

8. Flounder (The Little Mermaid): The Robin to your Batman. What's the saying? "A Friend Is Someone Who Will Bail You out of Jail, but Your Best Friend Is the One Sitting next to you Saying 'That Was F***ing Awesome!" (see also-Timon and Pumbaa of The Lion King)

9. Gaston (Beauty and the Beast): Initially thought to be good looking until they spoke. You now wonder why the admiration for their looks ever existed. Looks don't make up for stupid or crazy.

10. Meeko (Pocahontas): How did they get in? You don't know. They're just there.

11. Abu (Aladdin): OH, haha, right...wait...what? Usually nonsensical, this person seems to be around for some talent you apparently can't do without. (See also-Rafiki of The Lion King)

12. Cogsworth (Beauty and the Beast): The little b*tch- always there to tell you what you can't do and why you can't. (See also- Sebastion of The Little Mermaid, Zazu of The Lion King)

13. Scar (The Lion King): As if this weren't obvious...the backstabber. They also may attempt to usurp you from your rightful place as King, depending on your standing in life.

14. Tinker Bell (Peter Pan): The jealous type. There for drama. Usually a victim of responsible for unresolved issues.

15. Thumper (Bambi): The know it all. They correct you even when they're wrong. What you wouldn't give to punch them in the ovaries.

16. Tigger (The Many Adventures of Winny the Poo): An endless source of inexplicable energy. There's no reason to see them late at night or early in the morning.

17. Eeyore (The Many Adventures of Winny the Poo): On suicide watch. The glass is not half empty, it is shattered and currently being used as a weapon to cut themselves with to "feel something".

18. Scuttle (The Little Mermaid): Misinformation extraordinaire. If you want the most fantastic load of crap you've ever heard, you'll probably hear it from this person. They don't mean to lie, but they can't help that they're slow.

19. Pinocchio (Pinocchio): You need to call them on their bull crap or they'll keep at it. "Oh, I didn't know we were supposed to meet at 7!" Stop lying, you LIAR! You and Thumper are such @$$holes!

20. Cheshire Cat (Alice in Wonderland): Creepster. Everyone else seems to like them, but you still don't trust them (and rightfully so). See also: Everyone else in Alice in Wonderland.

Foggy Information

There was a fog that passed through St. Louis for over a week. Some people said it gave St. Louis a nightmarish quality. It reminded them of what they imagined the end of the world would look like. Most just complained they were simply uncomfortable with the feeling of not being able to see out of this small confined space as they drove.

No one can deny the uneasiness that accompanies uncertainty. Your main focus is to get to your destination safely. You're too busy focusing on the few feet you can see around you. Thinking about the vulnerability of driving a vehicle over 60 miles an hour surrounded by a thick layer of cloud that impedes your vision is enough to make a sane person panic. You have to fight the urge to pull over and just wait til the gloom leaves the area. But who knows how long it'll last. So everyone keeps driving because they have to get home.

...the foggy drive is one big flipping metaphor for life. Have you read a newspaper or seen the news? The only thing public officials are really good at is making one bad decision after another. Why are we flooded with this nonsense CNN calls news. How does it really affect us if Brangelina break up? Why are there a few hours a day devoted to celebrity gossip on that station? Look, there are hundreds of people who go missing every day. Why is only one girl who went went missing after a Metallica concert getting all the attention? I'm sure there are thousands of parents who are worried about their missing children. Why are there only five kids (give or take) whose name and face we've been forced to memorize and prioritize above the rest? Why are more questions being asked than answered?

...I'm sick of people complaining about helping Haiti. "We don't even have money to fix our economy" they claim. Apparently we don't have ANY money to help some surviving orphans and a country destroyed by a natural disaster. But we have enough money to support two ridiculous wars overseas. I love the misplaced outrage. It could be considered charming if we were Klingons. tlhIngan maH!

...(Hypocrite alert!) What I'm about to say is absolutely and ridiculously unimportant and miniscule in the grand scheme of things. I understand it goes against the point I was just trying to make...but I would love to meet the head of NBC and ask him "Why?" before I drop-kick him. There have been few things in my life that I could rely on over the past ten years. One is my anger at Israel's racist policies and Apartheid, and America's blinding support. Another is my mother's instinct to force-feed me. And the other is Conan O'Brien. He was there when I first came back to America and fell in love with his "Inappropriate" skits in which he played a British rocker who yelled "Inappropriate!" when someone did something like fart in an elevator. He gave us insulting, comic dogs and masturbating bears. And he pulled levers (and on my heart strings) to give us the most magnificent clips in the history of television in the form of Walker: Texas Ranger. And then, just like that, he was taken away from us. I hate you, N.B.C. I hate you. (**sniffle**)

...I always enjoy Congress's displays when they know there's a T.V. on them. This includes Obama's State of the Union address. I've broken down the speech as so---

1. The minority leader of the House is (R)Boehner. Is that pronounced like I think it is?
2. Democrats and Republicans can agree on quite a few things, believe it or not! Things like:

• They do NOT accept second place for America.
• They both like Nuclear Power Plants (an image of Homer Simpson just popped into my head)
• They love the idea of off-shore oil drilling (Oil is to Congress as blood is to Edward Cullen).
• They love community colleges!
• They like Michelle Obama tackling childhood obesity. (They must really HATE fat kids!)
• They like bringing DOWN the deficit (who knew!?)
• They hate lobbyists! All of them! Every single one of them hates those lousy lobbyists and would never have anything to do with them!
• They want to restore "Pay As You Go".
• They think it's funny to have monthly meetings between Republicans and Democrats.
• They...wait for it...SUPPORT NATIONAL SECURITY (Where is this coming from?! Who are these people?!)
• They support ending the wars (that they started) and sending troops home (some day).
• Everybody thought the story of the 8 year old boy from Louisiana sending his allowance to Pres. Obama to help the people of Haiti was the cutest thing ever. They all AW'ed to which I thought, "keep these people away from your children". By the way, they do not think Palestinian children are cute. I've just deduced this.

Anyways, that's all you need to know about that. 2010 is all about jobs. Healthcare Reform is so 2009.

...As we swat away all this information flying at our faces in the hope of catching a glimpse of truth behind it all, we focus on the little things around us that make sense. The weather (sort of), T.V. shows like Lost or Glee (or whatever makes you happy), what sort of people we want to surround us in life. We are an ambitious generation with unlimited potential and a limited number of jobs. And so we try to control what we can. Do I get caramel or Mocha? 8 GB or 16 GB? Do I go out or save gas money? Because everyone is lying to us about Healthcare Reform. Everyone is lying to us about foreign policy. Everyone is lying to us about whether or not they took steroids or why they did. Sometimes fighting the fog feels pointless. Maybe you just keep driving and hope it clears up. That's why you gotta admire the people who forge into the thickness of it and look for clarity.