Showing posts with label Albert Pujols. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Albert Pujols. Show all posts

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Stay in Hibernation

Cards-Cubs Weekend. What a beautiful rivalry. Thanks to deadspin, I was able to check out two blogs...

Thunder Matt's Saloon decided to respond to Cardinals Diaspora, who explained why the Cubs suck, by explaining why he hates the Cardinals. So, here's my response to Thunder Matt's Saloon comments. So goes the life of a blogger...

1. Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa basically led the Steroid Era. The Cubs learned their lesson by sticking with pretty steroid-free players for the most part. The Cardinals? They promote Rick Ankiel and trade for Troy Glaus, two guys linked to HGH use.

So do you want us to drop Ankiel and Glaus? Is that what you're saying? Would you like us to go ahead and forfeit the division so you can bring more celebrities to your 7th inning stretches or have Jim Belushi caught on another ESPN camera eating a hotdog at Wrigley? Besides, Ankiel is our baby Jesus. He practically died for our sins.

2. Albert Pujols. Sure, he's a fantastic ballplayer, but he's kind of a little bitch sometimes. Remember when he complained a few years ago when Ryan Howard won the MVP over him? Remember how Pujols complained... (...)

I couldn't even copy and paste the rest of this. Are you kidding me? I'm still upset Pujols hasn't won at least 3 MVP awards. Do you understand his career numbers are comparable to Ted Williams, Joe Dimaggio and Co.? He's the most valuable player in baseball. I don't even know what to say to you. I'm sure you guys would have traded him for three Cory Pattersons by now. Your complaining kind of makes you a little bitch too. So, in all fairness, we're all capable of being little bitches who complain.

3. Tony La Russa. I'm not even going to go into the drinking thing (everyone makes mistakes). What bothers me the most about him is that he over-manages and I'm pretty sure it's just to drive me crazy. I thought La Russa was going to break Spring Training this year with 16 pitchers so he could play even more matchups, but that would stop him from pulling 8 double switches a game, wouldn't it?

I, too, sometimes am frustrated when there are eight double switches in a game. Then I remember the last eight years: we've been to the post-season in six of the last eight seasons, enjoyed three league championship series, played in two World Series and enjoyed one magnificent-yes, it's as beautiful as they say it is-World Series title. And then the eight double switches don't bother me as much. It's amazing what success does for your patience. You guys should try winning the World Series some time to see what I mean. I, mean, uh, never mind.

4. Their colors. You're primarily red. That's great and all, but there's another team in your division already that claimed that color. And guess what? They're actually called the Reds. That's dedication. You know who else has a sort of half-hearted association with red uniforms? The Astros. Is that really the level you want to be on?

Um, you're blue. Is that why ya'll are so cranky and sad all the time? Is it so when you lose you guys can say, "you look blue" to one another and crack a half-hearted smile at your puns?

5. Lou Brock. You sons of bitches...

Yeah, you guys really messed up there :)

6. Doesn't it seem like the Cardinals have a never-ending supply of pitchers that own the Cubs and then suck against them as soon as they leave St. Louis? The perfect recent example of this is Matt Morris. God...Morris used to OWN the Cubs. Then he leaves St. Louis, and the Cubs destroy him. How the hell does this keep happening???(I realize that fits under "Reasons I Hate The Cardinals" better than "Why The Cardinals Suck". So what? I don't see you writing your own list.)

Yes, your list is a why you hate the Cardinals list. I'm glad you noticed. But let me also point out that we generally don't try to keep pitchers we feel are deteriorating skill-level wise. Example:Kip Wells. So, what could be happening is we have these pitchers because they play well for us. Then they do not play well for us and we decide not to resign them. Now, I know this concept is hard for you to understand, but please try.

7. Even a Cubs fan can admit that Walt Jocketty was money. And the Cards just let him go? To a division rival? Terrible. F.

Yes, yes, I liked Jocketty too. But I think it's safe to say that anyone with 100 years of a championship drought can't judge the rest of the baseball world too harshly. I think you need to let this go and focus on your own failures. For example, keep focusing on trading Lou Brock.

8. Tony La Russa wears sunglasses at night. Who do you think you are, Corey Hart?

Cory Hart stole Tony's signature "creepy guy at night" look. So let's give credit to the "creepy guy at night" look where credit is due.

9. When David Eckstein won World Series MVP, the Cardinals rewarded him with a giant SUV. That's just about the meanest thing I can think of. David Eckstein can't get into an SUV! He has enough trouble driving a big wheel! What, would you give a bike to a guy with no legs?

Wow. I think our top priority at the time was winning the World Series and not worrying about what car Eckstein drove. Now, if this is the biggest problem you can think of, then I think it's safe to say our problems are a lot nicer than your problems. (*Also, I like the thought of a guy with no legs winning a World Series championship with us before the Cubs do.)

10. See below:

Cardinals' Diaspora also pointed out that the Cubs sucked because Jeff Gordon, who coincidentally sucks, sang 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame' during 7th inning strech. Here's how he responded...

So here's your logic:

Jeff Gordon = Suck

Jeff Gordon = Sang The 7th Inning Stretch For The Cubs

Therefore...

Cubs = Suck

Something that even Cubs and Cardinals fans can agree on is that Jeff Gordon is terrible. But ever since Harry died, the Cubs front office has been parading in pseudo-celebs to sing, whether true Cub fans or not. Most Cubs fans will agree that half the people coming in to sing the stretch have no business being there. But your logic is flawed. Because if what you say is true, then the following must be true as well:

Cardinals = Red

Communists = Red

Cardinals = Communists

Communists = Hate America

Therefore...

Cardinals = Hate America.

But I can one up him...

Cubs=Blue

Blue= sadness

Sadness=depressed state

depressed state=depression

depression=suicide

suicide=end of human life

Therefore...

Cubs=end of human life.

Thank you. Go Cards.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Think you're seeing rainbows? You aren't the only one

Attending the Cardinals game at Busch Stadium on Sunday where we hosted the San Fransisco Giants on a gorgeously sunny afternoon, my best friend's two year old daughter-enjoying the first game she'll remember (one doesn't count)-was sitting in my sister's lap, taking in the sights and sounds of this new world she had never discovered beyond the realm of television. I can only imagine what she saw; an endless array of a gazillion strangers, or our closest friends, randomly screaming, joyously pumping their fists, high fiving one another and chanting to their hearts' desire, and she joined them as if she were born to do this. She was, of course. Being a Cardinals fan is her birthright.

And she did the things baseball fans are prone to do at baseball games. Besides the previously mentioned ballpark practices, she ate junkfood beyond the recommended amount a two year old should consume in one day. Hotdogs, cotton candy, and ice cream were intermittently brought in to mingle with her chanting and laughing. It was a joy to see-someone so young and still unjaded by the atmosphere. Still untouched by the pitfalls of being a true fan who experiences it all. She probably couldn't believe we were actually all sitting outside and screaming for close to three hours. At one point she even pointed to the field and exclaimed to her mother, "Mama, my turn!" because she insisted her turn to play on the field was something we all couldn't afford to miss. I laughed at the thought of Besan the two-year-old taking the ball on the mound from Tony and then running away as the players chased her and thousands of people laughed. It didn't seem like such a bad idea.

We lost the game, but we didn't leave the ballpark discouraged by this year's team. It seems Cardinals' fans took things for granted and many of us, not me, egregiously became jaded by all the winning. We were warned before Spring Training that this year's team wouldn't stand a chance and many fans even went so far as to over-react to the national media's assessment of Albert Pujols's elbow (even though they should've known better!). These fans said Tony would be insane if he didn't shut Pujols down before the season even started, send him off to surgery and hope he makes it back by mid-season next year, perhaps when this younger/inexperienced team with a year under their belt stood a chance.

Spring came and went, Pujols continued to play and we all prepared for the worst. Then the season started and the product on the field didn't yield something that resembles what we'd expect to come out of one of the Clydesdales' behinds. In fact, they were playing exciting baseball. We lost players last year that represented the core of this decade's Murderer's Row, but those players weren't producing anymore. This year's team is running, hustling, and yes, making mistakes, but considering what we were expecting-I'll take it. I think, for the most part, Cardinal fans know this isn't a team ready to take the division title, but what we've seen so far convinces me that the road to contention isn't as long or crooked as we might have been led to believe by the "experts". I feel good about this team because I know that, sure we're rebuilding, but we're still competing. And as long as we're still competing and making dazzling plays like the one pitcher Joel Piniero made on the mound yesterday, I can live with this.

At one point, little Besan looked out beyond the stadium, pointed to the arch and said, "Look! A rainbow!" We all laughed and corrected her. But maybe if we're as insightful as Besan, we'll be patient and see the rainbow is not too far off in the distance-even if they're telling us it isn't there.

Like everyone else, I am going to die. But the words – the words live on
for as long as there are readers to see them, audiences to hear them. It is
immortality by proxy. It is not really a bad deal, all things considered.
-J. Michael Straczynski

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