Blabber

I'm not gonna have this long, drawn out response about everything going on. So here are a couple points I'm gonna address quickly.

• The Real World-Sydney:

Um, does anyone else notice how awesomely unstable this season of Real Worlders are? This is good television. The mother of all reality TV is showing who's still boss. Shauvon, aka, the big boobed chick who made out with Isaac, left for her controlling boyfriend. The new ditzy replacement brunette, Ashli, was basically thrown in there to make Dunbar (yes, that's his name) cheat on his gf back home-because he can't control his penis, of course. Trisha, who is up there on- if she doesn't top-the list of evil bitches was sent home packing after pushing the "Muslim" Parisa (and that's after all the pretty harsh verbal abuse Trisha has been dishing at her all season). And yes, there's a guy an Appalachian man (I think) named Cohutta who likes the hoochie Kelly Anne. I just...I can go on, but shame on you for not watching. This season is so good!

• The New England Patriots

Ok, that game against the Baltimore Ravens? It made me sick. I will not give the Patriots credit for that game. They got lucky! Yeah, I said it! The way they won is lucky. As soon time ran out, I stood up, pointed at the television which was showing Tom Brady and announced, "Fuck your mother!". I don't care if people call me haters. I proudly hate on the Patriots and Brady and Belichik. God, please let the Steelers beat them this week. And if you have a bigger and better plan...please let it be the Patriots losing in the first round in some monumental way. I say this realizing that the Pats losing in the first round would be a monumental upset. So, that'll work.

• Scott Rolen vs. Tony La Russa

How are we going to play with our star 3rd baseman and manager at such public odds. Rolen is trying to get traded as we speak. La Russa's throwing verbal jabs at him in public. It's getting pretty ugly. I can live with a trade as long as we get something really good in return. I don't know what's going to happen to the market's interest in Rolen now that the huge trade involving another 3rd baseman has gone through. I guess we'll see, won't we. It doesn't look like the Cards have a lot of moves to make, but it's still a long way til Spring. Speaking of huge trades though...

• The Tigers-Marlins Blockbuster:

The Tigers got Dontrelle Willis AND Miguel Cabrera! WOW! I said this yesterday to my brother, if the Tigers don't win the World Series next year, then their season is a bust. No team with that line up and that starting pitching should lose. That is, of course, unless the Red Sox get Johan Santana, then I still consider them favorites. Well, I guess they're still considered favorites even if they don't get Santana. DAMN YOU RED SOX :) My brother pointed out that SportsCenter went through the list of all-stars the Marlins have gotten rid of since 1997. Just thinking of a few off the top of my head, the aforementioned Willis and Cabrera, and also Derrek Lee, Edgar Renteria and Josh Beckett, makes me want to actually get that list of players the Marlins have traded away. I guess that'll be next time. By the way, if you were a Marlins fan...well, would you still be a Marlins fan? Even if it's pretty much been guaranteed that you're getting young studs in return for your trades and you win the WS every, oh, 6 years? I mean, would you have that sort of patience for ownership?

I guess I had a drawn out response after all. My bad.

Chocolate Cupcakes Can't Fill This Void

I need Cardinals baseball.

December 8th. That's the day the Pujols plans and fancy seat tickets begin to go on sale. Count me among the throng of faithful fools who will be attempting to break through impossibly busy phone lines and internet traffic, hoping to snag a fancy ticket to Opening Day. I want to go to Opening Day. I need to go to Opening Day. I've never been to Opening Day. Last year, I went downtown before the game, just to be around people going to Opening Day. There, I've said it. If I find out any one of you are going to Opening Day and don't have an extra ticket for me, I will steal your kidneys. And maybe your uterus-just for good measure. Let's see how good you feel going to Opening Day without your kidneys! Or Uterus. I don't care if you're a man! I will TAKE YOUR UTERUS!!!

Ok, now that's out of my system, I'll let you know how that goes...

Mizzou lost, I accepted that. It wasn't exactly a close game all the way through. Plus, I was playing card games and smoking hookah aka argeela aka sheesha at a friend's, so I wasn't as 100% focused as I was the week before. Which resulted in a not-so-shitty night on what could've been an uber shitty night. I've come to wake up today and find out not only is Mizzou not playing in a Bowl game...teams like Kansas, who Mizzou beat the week before, are. See? This is why I don't let my heart get completely invested in college sports. That's Bowlshit. Ha! You see how I made a play on words? Instead of bull...well...nevermind...

The Rams won today, but I was blacked out-couldn't watch. No, I didn't have that great a night. Fox blacked out the game to the STL because apparently all the rich bastards who could afford to buy tickets every week before are suddenly MIA. This is a new thing I've come to get used to this season. I hope for road games so I can actually enjoy watching a Rams football game. Even if they lose like they did to Seattle last week. Well, maybe not so much. But they beat the Falcons today in a battle of the sucky teams. Maybe the Rams org. should've dubbed this game, "The battle for least suckiest between the most suckiest in the land" and more people would've shown up. Not anyone from Miami, but you never know. Ok, that joke sucked. But I promise my jokes will get better once a St. Louis sports team starts winning. Ok?

NEWS FLASH:The Cards signed SS Cesar Izturas. That means bye-bye Eckstein. The era of the little man is over. No more super hustle to first. No more "pesky man" discussions every single goddamn time he was on ESPN or FOX or in the Post Season or on SportsCenter or Baseball Tonight or what ever. Oh well. Bye. Didn't wanna commit to 4 years with ya. Everything's just so messed up. I wish Renteria was still with us. Yeah, I'm that bitter old person who reminisces about sitting by the radio listening to good quality family shows with the folks while claiming I walked in the snow for 4 hours to get to school and loved every second of it. Yeah, I'm that guy.

Oh, and Winter meetings are up soon. The Cards need pitching. What's new?

Chocolate Cupcakes also can't fill the void that has popped up since new episodes of The Office haven't aired on Thursday nights. What's the point of television now? The only thing that would cheer me up right now is a Patriots loss...especially in the post-season. Badia salivates and blacks out-Fox style.

Mizzou-RAH: Chase Daniel Don't Chase NObody!

Well, I guess until that game against Oklahoma next week, and then hopefully the National Championship! Mizzou-RAH!

I watched the game with my other partna in crime, Khomyster. You know, the one who can't read "indicted". Haha. Makes me smile every time. We understand there's a possibility the public will not understand our game-time mannerisms, so sometimes we look for places to watch games without a crowd. It's become an unintentional habit....and it's probably for the best. Case in point, during the game, after Mizzou scored the first touchdown, we actually got up and made up an impromptu football dance and chant. It goes like this...

One of us says, "Who loves football?" and the other answers, "I love football!" and then we switch roles and the other asks "Who loves football?" and is responded with, you guessed it, "I love football!" and then we keep chanting, "we love football! We love football!" as we frolic in a circle, bouncing to the imaginary beat of the song in our heads.

I say this with the full awareness that this is the most immasculate and non-football move we could make as we watch football. But, we're women. What do we know? (kho and Badia joke. Take it in stride) Now, if I could only force myself to go into the kitchen and make myself a sandwich...

It was fun to listen to the local radio people talking about the game. They sounded so excited and kept repeating, "Would anyone have thought in August that Mizzou would be playing Kansas for the #1 spot in the country and possibly playing the week after for the National Championship?" and that got me pumped. And then I got even more pumped as ABC switched from "Southern Living" (in response to your "huh?". I'm shaking my head and saying, "I dunno. Just let it be") to the pre-game stuff. Then we watched the game with pizza and the pure energy of 20-something women who sing "we love football! we love football!"

By the way, even though I'm not attached to Mizzou like I am to any pro STL team, I'm sick of seeing highlights or hearing about Mizzou's choke jobs. I was hoping during those tense final two minutes I wouldn't see another in the making. College sports is crazy like that. They can flip on you in the span of whatever like a crazy backstabbing lover! It's just crazy. I was going insane with all the penalty calls Mizzou was getting. I mean, yes, some were warranted, but Mizzou wasn't getting the same pass interference calls to go their way! And then those damn lousy holding and false start penalties! They drove me insane. All they did was remind me of how much I hate Alex Barron (STL Rams). Google "Alex Barron and False Starts" and I'm sure there'll be a whole site devoted to his knack for falsely starting. I bet you there's a book called, "Alex Barron and the Art of Falsely Starting; By Alex Barron. Illustrations also by Alex Barron".

Anyways, thank goodness the game pretty much ended in a safety after KU's QB got sacked! Face to the ground, baby! I loved the image of Todd Reesing trying to pick the mud/grass out of his helmet. It was so demeaning. Just like this loss.

Ah sports, always poetic. Always. Who loves football? I love football! We love football!

Thank you, Turkey Day

OOF, it's Thanksgiving and I'm stuffed. Stuffed like a Turkey on Thanksgiving, some might say...thank you, I'll be here all night!

We went through this whole ordeal of having to wait for everyone to come home before we could actually eat. I held off until about 7 pm. Then I couldn't wait any longer. I started to put side items on my plate and scarf down when the door bell rang. Our guests had finally arrived and I was just about to bite into the corn on the cob.

But it all went well. Of course there was arguing-over the pumpkin pie- and of course there were left overs. But arguing with your family and having leftovers are staples of the Thanksgiving holiday, are they not? Trying to persuade our mother to keep the only working television on the football games ("I'm tired, let me just see this" she argued, as a cheesey arabic soap opera took the place of the Cowboys manhandling the Jets.) was too taxing. Especially when you're hungry. There were too many battles. Like over what should or shouldn't be cooked all day. and whether or not our house needed the heat on (there are snow flurries outside...and mom's TOO HOT!?)

But I still feel good. It was Thanksgiving. My day. No, not my birthday, but better, a day solely revolved around eating. A day everyone can enjoy because we all get a little bit of something we like. That's my idea of celebration. If your birthday is winning an MVP award, Thanksgiving is the World Series. And the home team always wins on Thanksgiving.

I'm thankful the Rams have won two weeks in a row. And I'm thankful that the Cardinals 2007 season is over. That went all wrong. We needed to start fresh. I'm thankful the Blues, who still have a bit to work on with all their youngsters, are making every game exciting or at least make me believe we can win on any given night.

I loved sitting with my family in the kitchen and telling stories that made our stomaches ache from laughter-and from being too full. And did I mention leftovers? Well, excuse me while I go work on that some more, then lie down and think of other things to be thankful for. Like, not being a Cubs fan! There, got one in! GOODNIGHT!

Hanging Out at a Hell Hole!

According to some article that I skimmed through, working at a coffee shop (or in the restaurant industry in general) is one of the worst jobs to have in America because the pay is low and the average employee receives no benefits. Sounds about right (says the girl who makes shawirma sandwiches in bitterness.)

So, in honor of all the poor souls who deal with this bullshit, I'm at Starbucks right now analyzing the environment around me, maybe just to show my solidarity with the ones behind the counter. I'm sure buying a coffee and sitting at my laptop typing away as I listen to last year's American Idol winner Jordin Sparks' album isn't really doing anything. Yeah, that's true. But I needed a change of scenary.

Nothing interesting has happened so far. Maybe they're just so bored too. That has to kill you, asking what kind of coffee somebody wants every five minutes and then having to make it. Sort of like having to make a sandwich every five minutes. Hmmm.

I like this Jordin Sparks album already. I'm only two songs deep but the first was this catchy song they've started playing on the radio called "tattoo". And the second was a duet with Chris Brown. I wouldn't necessarily buy the album, but I wouldn't change the station if her songs were on.

I've also decided I like the colors starbucks is decorated in. Maybe my house will be painted like Starbucks some day. It could happen.

Oh, I have a bit of baseball news! Ok, so I read some rumor/report/whatever online about the Mets talking to David Eckstein about possibly playing for them at second base. Interesting. I don't know how I feel about Eckstein right now. I think he's a good catalyst for making things happen when he plays well, but couldn't that be said for anybody. He's not a quitter, that's always a plus. He's not Adam Kennedy. That's always good. I'm not sure how much he has in him and how much money he wants to make. I'm sure if someone good frees up, I'd prefer them anyway. I have nothing against the little guy, we might just need a youngin' who stays healthy.

Oh, I also found out the Cardinals are trying to hire a new bat boy! Remember, because Josh-the regular bat boy- has finally relinquished this honored position. The requirements are having to be a good student in school, available for all the games and travelling, and being at least 16 years old. It never said you actually have to be a "boy". Which got me wondering-what if I applied for the position. I went through the motions in my head. I imagined being in the locker room or handing them their bats or getting new gloves for them. It's not really a glamorous position. I'm sure it would weird them out having a 23 year old woman running back and forth fetching their items. Or maybe those freaks would like it, I dunno. I've decided the Cardinals did not insist the job is for a "boy" under the requirements cause I could sue them. But they're not fooling me, a girl would never be hired. Also, that's not a job I've been pining after. Oh well. It was fun imagining making fun of the guys behind their backs anyway. I could've had the best blogs ev-er.

Wow. Nothing is happening here. This is like some calm ass hell hole.

Some Things I know to Be True

• The Patriots are Evil: If it's not the secret cameras and sinister spying, it's the way somebody sold their soul (probably Belichick) to help them become the dominant and demonic team they are. They scored 56 on the Bills today. I'm not saying that's impossible. I'm saying, with the way Belichick dresses on the sidelines and the way Thomas Bradius Maximus impregnates (building an evil army?) and dates (is Giselle's womb next?), they can't be trusted. I'm surprised they didn't score 666 today. EVIL, I tell you.

• The Rams Must've Left a Load in New Orleans: Cause they aren't feeling as crappy as they were last week. Must be that "we just won a game" feeling. Winning one has them setting higher standards...well, standards anyway... for themselves. They went from having a camera shot of a player barely containing his joy and shock at winning last week (appearing to hide his smile behind his jersey like a five year old would)- to expecting major disappointment if they let today's game get away. They didn't. Yay winning streak. What? I can say that now.

• Barry Bonds is going to have a bad year: I know that's the most obvious statement ever, but I told you there were some things I knew to be true. This is one of them. Also, my cousin passed by a news stand yesterday, stopped in her tracks, bent closer and, reading the headline out loud, said, "Barry Bonds is IndiCted!" (pronouncing the silent C). I just pointed and laughed at her for a minute and a half. That's what you do in those situations. Trust me.

• An owl, or a bird that sounds like an owl, lives around our house: I have been hearing it over the last two nights. Here's the evidence I'm not crazy. A.) I've always been an insomniac, so I know what noises to expect at night. An owl in our neighborhood is not one of them. B.) It's hooting. C.) Why would I say an owl lives outside our house. I don't need that kind of attention.

• Ella Fitzgerald is flippin' awesome:If her voice were a drink, it would be velvety chocolate cocoa on a cold, rainy day by the fireplace. And I would drink it up, man.

A Rift in the Family (and something about some guy in NY)

Uh oh, Scotty and Big Daddy Tony can't get over the fight that left Scotty's ego with a booboo as a consequence of the '06 NLCS in which LaRussa sat out Rolen. Wow. Get...over...it. It worked out for the best at the time. Scott Speizio, a fill in for Rolen, hit the game tying R.B.I.s in that series shifting second game and when Rolen came back to play, he played better than he had all year. I wish Scotty would look in the mirror and repeat the following, "I play for a city that loves me and adores baseball, I now have a WS ring and I'm making 36 million dollars over the next three years". There...that should do the trick. Now go work on fixing your bum shoulder, goddamnit, and play baseball. And if you can't handle that, we don't want you. Cause that's how we roll, biatch. (That-and we still have Pujols)

Oh, and of course, the biggest news of the day is Alex Rodriguez resigning with the Yankees for 10 years and $275 million buckaroos. Well, I would've rather overpaid for some solid pitching, but that's just me. I guess we'll get to see a never ending re-run of "A-Rod in Gotham" over the next decade. Gee whiz. How grand.

WILL HIS WIFE SEND US TRASH TALKIN' MESSAGES ON HER T-SHIRTS AGAIN? WILL HE GET MORE PICTURES TAKEN OF HIM GALAVANTING WITH STRIPPERS!?!?! WILL HE EVER HIT IN THE PLAY-OFFS EVER AGAIN!? TUNE IN AT THE SAME BAT TIME...SAME BAT CHANNEL!