So I was stalled for things to talk about this week. Life isn’t very interesting, well, at least, anything I can talk about isn’t very interesting. I’m listening to my “iTunes” radio station. There’s a bunch of different musical categories and streams coming from everywhere, including those for international music. I was trying to get my hands on some good ole Arabic music but some weird techno music is coming out of the Arabic Stream instead. It’s weird and irksome, considering I despise techno music, but what’re you gonna do? Well, if you’re me, you tune into some college radio station, get annoyed by it, then you move onto Indie-Pop-Rock. Weird combo, I know. I can’t help it.
Anyways, I’m too exhausted to complain about players and coaches not voting for Yadier Molina, or Albert Pujols for that matter, to receive gold gloves. What’re they thinking? I don’t really know. I’m sure I could expend some energy and write up a bunch of figures and stats that would obviously support why these players’ should have been rewarded. I thought a gold glove for Molina was in the bag, considering he completely shut down the opposition’s running game, even against the speedy superstars like Jose Reyes and Hanley Ramirez. In fact, I believe base stealer’s attempts were less than 50% successful against Molina. I’m too lazy to check, just take my word for it. I’m so sick of these deserving players getting robbed that I’m not even enthused enough to check right now. I promise I’ll check later. But today, I thought we should get to know each other better.
I’m here for fun and I’m sure there’s always room for you to get to know me better through a survey, n’est pas? That’s French for, “no?” or “right?” or “eh?” I bet you didn’t know I could speak French. See? A lot to learn about me. This survey is cleverly called “Born before ‘95” because if you were born before 1995, apparently you can answer all the questions with ease. How convenient for me. There is a twist. I spent 1993-1998 living in a third world country. So…this should be fun.
Which spice girl did you like? I thought Posh Spice was the prettiest, so I liked her best. That was my only reason. Right now? Her looks have worn off on me. No more charm.
Backstreet Boys or N*Sync? Hey, if you’re cool, N*Sync. But I have to say, I didn’t think they were cool until they sang “Gone” and by that point, we were all closet fans. So don’t judge me.
Did you watch S Club 7? No. I don’t even understand what this is. The name rings a bell, but this must be when I was in a third world country. Shit happens.
What was your favorite, Sandlot or Little Rascals? Sandlot. Little Rascals was pathetic. I prefer the baseball movies anyway.
Did you ever have light up sneakers? I was never that cool. Or lucky. I did have pumps! Does that make me cool enough for you?
Cinderella or Snow White? Cinderella all the way. Snow White sounds like she sucks on helium balloons all the time. Not cool, man, not cool.
What was your favorite holiday? Thanksgiving. Cause we would actually celebrate that one (we’re Muslims). I love seeing family, and I love eating, hence, I like Thanksgiving. Halloween would've been first except for the fact that my mom stuck me in the same traditional Arabic dress each year and I paraded around as a "gypsy". Damnit.
Did you ever try to stay up on Christmas just so you could see santa? No, as a Muslim, my parents never considered the notion of letting me believe in Santa Claus. As a child, I inwardly laughed at my friends’ belief in the jolly, fat guy. Outwardly, I nodded and smiled at their stories.
You ever watch Bill Nye the Science Guy? Hell to the yeah! AND it was WHILE I was in Palestine! That’s the reach of Bill Nye, my friends.
What grade did you like the best? I distinctly remembering declaring, as a first grader, “I love school. I’ll never hate school” and my brothers and sister warning me that wasn’t true. They were so wise. What happened? Second Grade and Miss Dueser, that's what. So anyways, that must mean first grade.
Ninja Turtles or Power Rangers? I can’t even believe this is a question. Power Rangers have nothing….NOTHING... on the Ninja Turtles. How despicable.
What Power Ranger were you? I think I just threw up in my mouth, a little bit.
Did you ever own a Chinese jump rope? no. I didn't own a lot of things. I chose my battles, like convincing my mom to get me happy meals when the siblings weren't around.
What was your favorite thing to eat? Fried Chicken, sometimes pizza. I’m surprised I was never morbidly obese.
What was your favorite color? I’ve stuck with blue for a while now. I think it was a good call.
Did you prefer, “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego” or “Where’s Waldo?” ohhh, toughie. I think I’ll never get sick of Where’s Waldo. But when “Where in the World…” was good, it was good.
Do you ever miss being a little kid? God, yes. I miss riding my bike in the summer, not having to worry about work or any responsibilities, swimming in Jenny Steward's kiddy pool, telling my younger brother that elves carved a secret door in the tree across our street (and loving that he believed me. Fool.), my friends and I choosing between A.C. Slater and Zack Morris to be our pretend husbands in a game of house…I miss it all.
What was your first pet’s name? Kitty/Friday (With the amount of "Kittys'" we've had since, it could also be called Kitty 1.)
Who was your best friend in kindergarten? Jenny Steward/ Dalal Safi
Are you still friends with the person you were best friends with? Still best friends with Dalal. I’ve lost touch with Jenny but I wanna reach her again. We graduated together. Okay, now I’m sad.
How many times have you switched schools including preschool? Before 1995? Three times. But I was checking through high school graduation in my head and it was 5 all together. Weird. See, that’s what living in two countries will do to you.
What did you want to be when you grew up? A nurse or artist...
What was your all time favorite movie? I think it was Batman or Cinderella. I know, the difference is palpable.
Which did you like ‘Are You Afraid Of The Dark’ or ‘AHH! Real Monsters? Are You Afraid of the Dark. What’s Real Monsters? No idea.
Did you watch Rocko’s Modern Life? No. But that sounds familiar.
Did you collect pogs? No.
Who was your favorite character in Doug? Doug. Or his dog. I forget.
Did you like War Heads? No. Is that a game or the candy. While we're on the topic of candy, I loved that Big League Chew gum. Still love it. Good stuff.
Favorite rugrat? Chucky at first, but that kid annoys the crap outta me now. Tommy was cool from the get go. But I CAN do an impression of Chucky.
Well, apparently these are the questions that only people born before 1995 can answer. Too bad for you poor suckas born post ’95. You obviously missed out.
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