Sports, dinner and celebrities, oh my!

• I volunteered at a Sports Celebrity dinner which raised money for the MS society on Wednesday Feb. 15. Here's how it went...

I arrived there late if you're going by the Central Time Zone, but pretty much on time if you're going by Arab Standard Time (AST)! My friend Sheri, who was supposed to greet guests alongside me at the Renaissance Grand Hotel downtown, apparently got food poisoning. (Don't go to Red Lobster. Which one, you ask? Does it matter?)So I was stuck by myself for an hour and a half waiting by the side door where I would practically fawn after any and everyone who walked by...
"Good evening! Are you here for the Auction?!" God I must've sounded like such an ass.
So there I was for the longest time, all by my lonesome, with only the janitor guy who periodically came by to give me creepy looks, only to decide at creepy look number 6 to make small talk, asking me where I was from.
I told him I was Arab and he stared for a moment, making me slightly more uncomfortable, especially when he said, "Man oh man, you Middle Eastern women are beautiful!" This was the last thing I wanted to hear from the janitor. Well, second to last thing. It probably would have been worse if the words, "kill", "eat you" or "precious" were uttered. Nonetheless, they weren't, so I replied, "Thank you on behalf of all Middle Eastern women." At least I had my manners. (Plus, I'm not one of the better looking Middle Eastern women, but thank you mister!)
I tried to change the subject by asking if he saw many different types of people come by the hotel. I knew he probably did. It was a hotel in downtown St. Louis, but he was stupid enough not to catch on to my purpose.
Janitor: "Sure, sure...all different types of people."
me: "what kind of people?" (God, this is so stupid)
Janitor:"You know, different types", and with a thoughtful look he said, "I've seen Jews" and amazingly, he stopped at that....
At this point I wanted to laugh hysterically out loud, because I thought it was odd that the only type of people he saw at the Renaissance Grand, that he could think of, were Jews and that it seemed like he purposefully said "Jews" to get a crazy response out of me. Apparently, my being Arab might cause some inexplicable reaction to the word. I wanted to explain to him that I wasn't going to pull my sword out, make yelping noises with my tongue and take him hostage because God willed it. But then I thought, "why bother?".
Janitor: "you know, I like all types of people."

me:"um, that's nice."
Janitor:" You don't believe me? Look at my wife" and with those words, he withdrew his wallet to show me his white wife. He was African American.
me:"Wow, I believe you now", I said sarcastically. He laughed. I think he felt I was convinced.
Janitor:"I'll be back later!" And with that, he pulled out his walkie talkie, acting like the use for it in that moment was dire. In that moment,  he yielded all the power in the universe because this device could loudly transmit messages and make beeping noises. It was like Heman yielding his sword high above his head,that pride.

Of course, I didn't wait around to see if the man with amazing conversational skills would prove me wrong and not come back. I went to get a snack and can I just say, this was probably the best volunteer food I'd ever seen. There were rolled sandwiches, cake, water, fruit, chips. In other words, the works. Hello inner fatty awakening in me! It was fitting, since I binged on food on my way over to the event, thinking they'd only have rabbit food or pretzels. Like the true opportunist I am, I took a bag of chips and bottle of water just because it was free.
Now, the next part of the evening is where it gets fun. As part of my volunteering, I was also a spotter. During a live auction, I would raise my amazingly dorky "star on a stick" contraption to alert the auctioneer with the microphone if any of the guests at my four tables were bidding on an item. This star-stick thing instantly raised my dorky level by two or three notches on the dork rictor scale. (Ignore the possibility of my dorkiness already being off the charts.)

I'm not proud to say that the star was huge and shiny. If I took it to an airport, they would've arrested me for fear of this weapon and my intent, as it's points at each end were sharp enough to cut through a penny and its surface was shiny enough to blind any innocent passerbyer. The airlines should update their list of things to look out for and place "star-stick" right on the top, next to "more than 3 ounces of fluid."
Anyway, I feared the worst as the live auction spotter. I imagined myself twitching and flailing my arms about uncontrollably, making someone pay $3,000 for a trip they didn't want. But I was more excited about seeing the "celebrity" guests than anything else. Ozzie Smith was rumored to be on his way. The murmerings of interest were circulating around me and I joined in on the dorky groupiness (yes. The notch went up!).


"Is it true?" I asked a girl I had befriended beside me.

"yeah yeah, he's on his way", she assured me and the murmerings persisted.

 Then there he was in all his hall of fame glory. As handsome and awesome and obvious as he could be. The murmerings subsided as we all stared in awe, as if waiting for him to make his famous flip right then and there. He decidely made a point not look our way as we waited out in the hall for the guests to finish their dinner, or perhaps he was so used to people staring that we were just an afterthought. Maybe both. Either way, we were the unimportant auction spotters. I was tempted to yell, "Ozzie!" but decided my dorkiness had its barriers. I was not going to yell "Ozzie!" while carrying the amazing star-repellent Star-stick.
We entered the ballroom and made our way towards our assigned tables. I was lucky enough to get four tables in the front, next to the head table seating the celebrity guests. OOOooooooooh.  I could not have been happier with my arrangements, I had a great area. Only, I felt very self concious and imagined all my rich, white friends around me commenting on how large my behind was.


I could hear them now..."Look at that Mexican girl's rear end, Richard! It's absolutely horrific!"

"Oh Mindy, you are quite the gem!" (region of tables within earshot of this hoighty toighty remark are heard ha-ha'ing and giggling with rich, unabashed glee)

I was told to make the guests of my volunteering selection aware of my job as their spotter. It was the hardest thing to catch their attention. If felt like I was interrupting their dinner party. I wasn't even sure if they understood me because they would barely respond. I looked at other spotters in the area to see if the same was happening to them and went back to my table intent on getting the message out regardless of their interest.

"Richard, make the Mexican girl go away!"
I looked up from my position to see who else I could identify at the head table. There was Jamal Mayers of the St. Louis Blue. But before I could thoroughly continue acting on my curiousity, the auctioneer began. A few guests at my table were really involved in the first item on the list of items to be auctioned.

Heart. Pounding.

 It proved for some interesting moments, especially when I had to yell for the auctioneer to look my way when he strayed off for too long as I waved my Star a la Stick. By the way, I wasn't being ghetto, this was something I was advised to do before I had gone in the ballroom. We had to "make sure the guest's bid didn't go unnoticed." Sir, yes sir!
For the rest of the evening, though, my area was peaceful. (And by peaceful, I mean disappointing in the inaction). Auctioned items ranged from golf memberships at exclusive golf courses to two tickets to opening day with special seating, a tour of the new Busch before the game and a sit down interview with Mike Shannon and John Rooney during the game.

As my area remained quiet, I was able to identify Mayor Francis Slay, John Rooney, Dick Ford and others at the head table as well. I guess they were using the term "sports celebrity" lightly. Still, I can't say I wasn't happy to see Dick Ford anyway.
I wish I could tell you that Ozzie flipped over to me and we sang a few tunes together, but my evening ended at that. I left the ballroom and made my way out the door as soon as humanly possible. But not before the event coordinator could say, "Thanks for helping out, Bodd-ee-ya", adding her name to the list of thousands who've never missed an opportunity to butcher my name.


My name's been butchered so much that it's rumored the letters 'A' and 'D' in my name are delicacies in Iceland.

Anyway, that was my evening. Hope ya enjoyed. I pretty much did. I would've enjoyed it more if any of the current Cardinals or Tori Holt were there. Either way, still fun.

By the way, I'm definately volunteering next year too. (wink wink)

Confessions of a Palestinian American

When I used to live in Palestine, I would become so frustrated with the Israeli governments policies, everyday terror tactics and demeaning collective punishments that I would promise myself, every day, that when I returned to America I would let everyone know how the Palestinians were treated and how angry and frustrated we were as a people. Keep in mind that the majority of my living conditions ocurred during the so called peace treaty, between 1993 and 1998. Most would say that this was a good time to be a Palestinian, considering our usual living conditions. Sadly, that doesn't say much about the current living conditions for Palestinians.

I'm ashamed to say that once I returned to America, I quickly adapted to the comfortable lifestyle. It seems that not worrying about checkpoints, angry teenage Israeli soldiers with guns and the illegal whims of the Israeli government, quickly got to my head. I didn't keep my end of the bargain. Sure, I have friends and relatively interested aquaintances who I've explained "the situation" to whenever convenient. But my action, or rather, inaction since my return here has been disappointing to say the least. I have to wonder, if living in an apartheid isn't enough to use my freedom here to try to better the situation of the Palestinians left behind, how on Earth can I get anyone else here to make a change or expect anyone else to care.

Convenience has always been one of the practices that I've blamed governments for, in the past. If a situation or dilemma inconveniences a government, they set it aside or ignore the issue, maybe making a statement to shut up the arguers. Unbeknownst to myself, I began to adopt and depend on convenience as well. If I became tired with an issue, I turned off the TV. In Palestine, you can't turn life off. It just keeps going, no matter how difficult facing it is.

Here I am, having come full circle, almost as frustrated as if I were still living there. I feel like I can't even do anything, when I know full well that I have all the tools and freedom necessary to actually do something.

I'm in an almost paradoxical situation. In one sense, I've never in my life been more proud to be Palestinian American. It's knowing that the striving and hardships our people have gone through have made them, and me, stronger. We are so secure in our convictions and belief that the occupation of Palestine and treatment of Palestinians are wrong. It makes us more sympathetic to the causes around us because we know what it feels like and that is truely a blessing in disguise.

It's hard to explain. To give you an example, it's like having someone you love contract Cancer and see how miserable they feel. You know that you must do anything and everything you can to find a cure for that disease. Perhaps this new sense of responsibility will help someone else in the long run. If you hadn't had that person face the disease, you, sadly, would not have cared or sympathised as much , if it did not directly affect you.

In another sense, I've never been more ashamed to be a Palestinian, because I, again, know full well the hardships the Palestinians continue to endure, have lived even a fraction of it and I haven't even been close to doing what I'm capable of doing to help. My responsibility as a Palestinian American is to change what is happening to the Palestinians and I'm not coming through for them. In that sense, I've failed them and myself.

What's even more frustrating is how biased the news is. Even PBS, for God's sake, was doing a report about the Palestinian-Israeli situation recently in which they strongly suggested that the Israeli created "Apartheid Wall" which they built on illegally occupied and confiscated Palestinian land was mostly the reason for the diminishment of suicide bombings and security of Israel. The fact the wall destroyed Palestinians' homes, land agriculture, way of life and separated families was an afterthought. It felt like a footnote the reporter suggested because it was an obligation. It seems like anything the media reports about the Palestinians' lives are obligated footnotes, if any. They've made up their minds. Israel is America's ally and that is the end of discussion.

Here's a few things points of interest ignored by the media...

1.) Palestinians, and frankly the Arab world, view Sharon, Israel's so called warrior/hardliner and Bush's "man of peace" as a genocidal maniac and war criminal. Following the horrendous massacres at Sabra and Shatila, Palestinian refugee camps in southern Lebanon, in 1982 "Sharon and seven other Israeli officials, including Begin, were found guilty the next year by an Israeli commission of “indirect responsibility” for the massacres. Sharon was also found to have “personal responsibility,” and he was ordered to resign or be removed as defense minister."

In one account of that night, "Phalangists killed civilians indiscriminately in the camps. There were no PLO guerrillas, though Israel had claimed there were, so the women, children and old victims were defenseless. Whole families were gunned down or knifed to death. One infant was stomped to death by a man wearing spiked shoes. Another refugee was killed by live grenades draped around his neck.[12] Bulldozers were brought in, mass graves hastily dug and truck loads of bodies dumped in them. Throughout the night, the shooting and the screams did not stop.[13] The killing lasted until the morning of Sept. 18." "The official Israeli commission of inquiry into the massacres concluded that 700 to 800 persons had been killed in the two camps.[14] Non-Israeli estimates were considerably higher. The Palestine Red Crescent put the number at over 2,000, while Lebanese authorities reported that 762 bodies were recovered and 1,200 death certificates issued.[15]" (http://www.thetruthseeker.co.uk/print.asp?ID=187)

2.)Needless to say, the Palestinians were disgusted at Israel's election of Sharon in 2000. In this sense, Palestinians scoff at Israel's suggestion that Hamas, a group the Israelis and Americans have listed as a terrorist organization, has no place in government and that the Palestinians have made a decision against peace. To Palestinians, all the leaders the Israelis have been choosing have had no inclination towards peace. The illegal Israeli settlements built on occupied Palestinian land alone shows the Palestinians that actions speak louder than words. Telling a nation that peace is the only way and showing them that settlements are built on Palestinian land regardless of the legality and ethics are another thing. In an article of the New York Times published on April 14, 1983 "Raphael Eitan, Israel's military chief of staff, speaking of plans to increase Jewish settlements in the occupied territories, said: “When we have settled the land, all the Arabs will be able to do about it will be scurry around like drugged roaches in a bottle.” (http://www.thetruthseeker.co.uk/print.asp?ID=187)

To help you understand what Israeli settlements are, here's a definition from "http://www.palestinemonitor.org/factsheet/settlement.html":

"Settlements are essentially large housing projects built illegally by Israel on land confiscated from Palestinians within the West Bank, Jerusalem and Gaza Strip. These settlements are joined to each other and to Israel through "by-pass" roads, which are for the exclusive use of Israelis and which are also built on privately owned Palestinian land confiscated by the Israeli government. Israeli settlements affect Palestinian daily life and impact long-term Palestinian developmental needs. They ensure that Palestinians live in a continuous state of insecurity and fragmentation and therefore prevent economic, social and political development."

What Americans do not know is that, "The population growth within the Israeli settlements is almost four times greater than that of Israel itself, contradicting any claim that this increase is due to "natural population growth". According to the Israeli Bureau of Statistics the percentage of increase in population in the settlements from 1995 to the end of 1998 was 24.8% as compared to 6.6% in Israel." (http://www.palestinemonitor.org/factsheet/settlement.html)

What's even more frightening, "Built-up Israeli settlement areas in the West Bank cover less than 2 percent of the land, but government planners have intentionally given settlers control of more than 40 percent, the Israeli human rights monitoring group B'Tselem said(...)" (http://www.rense.com/general25/40.htm).

3.) Finally, the Palestinian turnout in the elections showed how hungry the Palestinians were for democracy, something many Americans and Israelis question, when 77% of at least 1.5 million eligable Palestinian voters voted. If so, this shows that 77% of eligable occupied voters living in squalor were more willing to vote than the roughly 50% of Americans, in the most recent elections, living in over 200 years of independence. Although many question the voting choice of Palestinians, I have two things to point out.

1.) one name for you: George W. Bush. There's no excuse for THAT.

2.) Although many view the recent election results as a Palestinian step away from peace, an upcoming Newsweek article I read which can be seen at: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11080943/site/newsweek/, showed some interesting statistics. Among them, "Three quarters of all Palestinians, including more than 60 percent of Hamas supporters, are willing to support reconciliation between Palestinians and Israelis based on a two-state solution." Please read the article, it's very inciteful.

Perhaps I've written much more than people generally care to read or hear about. But if I, as Palestinian, can't even find the time of day to write a blog entry even scratching the surface of the Palestinian issue, when exactly should I expect the rest of the world to care?

For more information on the Massacre of Sabra and Shatila, among countless websites, you can visit:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2255902.stm

http://electronicintifada.net/bytopic/145.shtml