Blabber

I'm not gonna have this long, drawn out response about everything going on. So here are a couple points I'm gonna address quickly.

• The Real World-Sydney:

Um, does anyone else notice how awesomely unstable this season of Real Worlders are? This is good television. The mother of all reality TV is showing who's still boss. Shauvon, aka, the big boobed chick who made out with Isaac, left for her controlling boyfriend. The new ditzy replacement brunette, Ashli, was basically thrown in there to make Dunbar (yes, that's his name) cheat on his gf back home-because he can't control his penis, of course. Trisha, who is up there on- if she doesn't top-the list of evil bitches was sent home packing after pushing the "Muslim" Parisa (and that's after all the pretty harsh verbal abuse Trisha has been dishing at her all season). And yes, there's a guy an Appalachian man (I think) named Cohutta who likes the hoochie Kelly Anne. I just...I can go on, but shame on you for not watching. This season is so good!

• The New England Patriots

Ok, that game against the Baltimore Ravens? It made me sick. I will not give the Patriots credit for that game. They got lucky! Yeah, I said it! The way they won is lucky. As soon time ran out, I stood up, pointed at the television which was showing Tom Brady and announced, "Fuck your mother!". I don't care if people call me haters. I proudly hate on the Patriots and Brady and Belichik. God, please let the Steelers beat them this week. And if you have a bigger and better plan...please let it be the Patriots losing in the first round in some monumental way. I say this realizing that the Pats losing in the first round would be a monumental upset. So, that'll work.

• Scott Rolen vs. Tony La Russa

How are we going to play with our star 3rd baseman and manager at such public odds. Rolen is trying to get traded as we speak. La Russa's throwing verbal jabs at him in public. It's getting pretty ugly. I can live with a trade as long as we get something really good in return. I don't know what's going to happen to the market's interest in Rolen now that the huge trade involving another 3rd baseman has gone through. I guess we'll see, won't we. It doesn't look like the Cards have a lot of moves to make, but it's still a long way til Spring. Speaking of huge trades though...

• The Tigers-Marlins Blockbuster:

The Tigers got Dontrelle Willis AND Miguel Cabrera! WOW! I said this yesterday to my brother, if the Tigers don't win the World Series next year, then their season is a bust. No team with that line up and that starting pitching should lose. That is, of course, unless the Red Sox get Johan Santana, then I still consider them favorites. Well, I guess they're still considered favorites even if they don't get Santana. DAMN YOU RED SOX :) My brother pointed out that SportsCenter went through the list of all-stars the Marlins have gotten rid of since 1997. Just thinking of a few off the top of my head, the aforementioned Willis and Cabrera, and also Derrek Lee, Edgar Renteria and Josh Beckett, makes me want to actually get that list of players the Marlins have traded away. I guess that'll be next time. By the way, if you were a Marlins fan...well, would you still be a Marlins fan? Even if it's pretty much been guaranteed that you're getting young studs in return for your trades and you win the WS every, oh, 6 years? I mean, would you have that sort of patience for ownership?

I guess I had a drawn out response after all. My bad.

Chocolate Cupcakes Can't Fill This Void

I need Cardinals baseball.

December 8th. That's the day the Pujols plans and fancy seat tickets begin to go on sale. Count me among the throng of faithful fools who will be attempting to break through impossibly busy phone lines and internet traffic, hoping to snag a fancy ticket to Opening Day. I want to go to Opening Day. I need to go to Opening Day. I've never been to Opening Day. Last year, I went downtown before the game, just to be around people going to Opening Day. There, I've said it. If I find out any one of you are going to Opening Day and don't have an extra ticket for me, I will steal your kidneys. And maybe your uterus-just for good measure. Let's see how good you feel going to Opening Day without your kidneys! Or Uterus. I don't care if you're a man! I will TAKE YOUR UTERUS!!!

Ok, now that's out of my system, I'll let you know how that goes...

Mizzou lost, I accepted that. It wasn't exactly a close game all the way through. Plus, I was playing card games and smoking hookah aka argeela aka sheesha at a friend's, so I wasn't as 100% focused as I was the week before. Which resulted in a not-so-shitty night on what could've been an uber shitty night. I've come to wake up today and find out not only is Mizzou not playing in a Bowl game...teams like Kansas, who Mizzou beat the week before, are. See? This is why I don't let my heart get completely invested in college sports. That's Bowlshit. Ha! You see how I made a play on words? Instead of bull...well...nevermind...

The Rams won today, but I was blacked out-couldn't watch. No, I didn't have that great a night. Fox blacked out the game to the STL because apparently all the rich bastards who could afford to buy tickets every week before are suddenly MIA. This is a new thing I've come to get used to this season. I hope for road games so I can actually enjoy watching a Rams football game. Even if they lose like they did to Seattle last week. Well, maybe not so much. But they beat the Falcons today in a battle of the sucky teams. Maybe the Rams org. should've dubbed this game, "The battle for least suckiest between the most suckiest in the land" and more people would've shown up. Not anyone from Miami, but you never know. Ok, that joke sucked. But I promise my jokes will get better once a St. Louis sports team starts winning. Ok?

NEWS FLASH:The Cards signed SS Cesar Izturas. That means bye-bye Eckstein. The era of the little man is over. No more super hustle to first. No more "pesky man" discussions every single goddamn time he was on ESPN or FOX or in the Post Season or on SportsCenter or Baseball Tonight or what ever. Oh well. Bye. Didn't wanna commit to 4 years with ya. Everything's just so messed up. I wish Renteria was still with us. Yeah, I'm that bitter old person who reminisces about sitting by the radio listening to good quality family shows with the folks while claiming I walked in the snow for 4 hours to get to school and loved every second of it. Yeah, I'm that guy.

Oh, and Winter meetings are up soon. The Cards need pitching. What's new?

Chocolate Cupcakes also can't fill the void that has popped up since new episodes of The Office haven't aired on Thursday nights. What's the point of television now? The only thing that would cheer me up right now is a Patriots loss...especially in the post-season. Badia salivates and blacks out-Fox style.

Mizzou-RAH: Chase Daniel Don't Chase NObody!

Well, I guess until that game against Oklahoma next week, and then hopefully the National Championship! Mizzou-RAH!

I watched the game with my other partna in crime, Khomyster. You know, the one who can't read "indicted". Haha. Makes me smile every time. We understand there's a possibility the public will not understand our game-time mannerisms, so sometimes we look for places to watch games without a crowd. It's become an unintentional habit....and it's probably for the best. Case in point, during the game, after Mizzou scored the first touchdown, we actually got up and made up an impromptu football dance and chant. It goes like this...

One of us says, "Who loves football?" and the other answers, "I love football!" and then we switch roles and the other asks "Who loves football?" and is responded with, you guessed it, "I love football!" and then we keep chanting, "we love football! We love football!" as we frolic in a circle, bouncing to the imaginary beat of the song in our heads.

I say this with the full awareness that this is the most immasculate and non-football move we could make as we watch football. But, we're women. What do we know? (kho and Badia joke. Take it in stride) Now, if I could only force myself to go into the kitchen and make myself a sandwich...

It was fun to listen to the local radio people talking about the game. They sounded so excited and kept repeating, "Would anyone have thought in August that Mizzou would be playing Kansas for the #1 spot in the country and possibly playing the week after for the National Championship?" and that got me pumped. And then I got even more pumped as ABC switched from "Southern Living" (in response to your "huh?". I'm shaking my head and saying, "I dunno. Just let it be") to the pre-game stuff. Then we watched the game with pizza and the pure energy of 20-something women who sing "we love football! we love football!"

By the way, even though I'm not attached to Mizzou like I am to any pro STL team, I'm sick of seeing highlights or hearing about Mizzou's choke jobs. I was hoping during those tense final two minutes I wouldn't see another in the making. College sports is crazy like that. They can flip on you in the span of whatever like a crazy backstabbing lover! It's just crazy. I was going insane with all the penalty calls Mizzou was getting. I mean, yes, some were warranted, but Mizzou wasn't getting the same pass interference calls to go their way! And then those damn lousy holding and false start penalties! They drove me insane. All they did was remind me of how much I hate Alex Barron (STL Rams). Google "Alex Barron and False Starts" and I'm sure there'll be a whole site devoted to his knack for falsely starting. I bet you there's a book called, "Alex Barron and the Art of Falsely Starting; By Alex Barron. Illustrations also by Alex Barron".

Anyways, thank goodness the game pretty much ended in a safety after KU's QB got sacked! Face to the ground, baby! I loved the image of Todd Reesing trying to pick the mud/grass out of his helmet. It was so demeaning. Just like this loss.

Ah sports, always poetic. Always. Who loves football? I love football! We love football!

Thank you, Turkey Day

OOF, it's Thanksgiving and I'm stuffed. Stuffed like a Turkey on Thanksgiving, some might say...thank you, I'll be here all night!

We went through this whole ordeal of having to wait for everyone to come home before we could actually eat. I held off until about 7 pm. Then I couldn't wait any longer. I started to put side items on my plate and scarf down when the door bell rang. Our guests had finally arrived and I was just about to bite into the corn on the cob.

But it all went well. Of course there was arguing-over the pumpkin pie- and of course there were left overs. But arguing with your family and having leftovers are staples of the Thanksgiving holiday, are they not? Trying to persuade our mother to keep the only working television on the football games ("I'm tired, let me just see this" she argued, as a cheesey arabic soap opera took the place of the Cowboys manhandling the Jets.) was too taxing. Especially when you're hungry. There were too many battles. Like over what should or shouldn't be cooked all day. and whether or not our house needed the heat on (there are snow flurries outside...and mom's TOO HOT!?)

But I still feel good. It was Thanksgiving. My day. No, not my birthday, but better, a day solely revolved around eating. A day everyone can enjoy because we all get a little bit of something we like. That's my idea of celebration. If your birthday is winning an MVP award, Thanksgiving is the World Series. And the home team always wins on Thanksgiving.

I'm thankful the Rams have won two weeks in a row. And I'm thankful that the Cardinals 2007 season is over. That went all wrong. We needed to start fresh. I'm thankful the Blues, who still have a bit to work on with all their youngsters, are making every game exciting or at least make me believe we can win on any given night.

I loved sitting with my family in the kitchen and telling stories that made our stomaches ache from laughter-and from being too full. And did I mention leftovers? Well, excuse me while I go work on that some more, then lie down and think of other things to be thankful for. Like, not being a Cubs fan! There, got one in! GOODNIGHT!

Hanging Out at a Hell Hole!

According to some article that I skimmed through, working at a coffee shop (or in the restaurant industry in general) is one of the worst jobs to have in America because the pay is low and the average employee receives no benefits. Sounds about right (says the girl who makes shawirma sandwiches in bitterness.)

So, in honor of all the poor souls who deal with this bullshit, I'm at Starbucks right now analyzing the environment around me, maybe just to show my solidarity with the ones behind the counter. I'm sure buying a coffee and sitting at my laptop typing away as I listen to last year's American Idol winner Jordin Sparks' album isn't really doing anything. Yeah, that's true. But I needed a change of scenary.

Nothing interesting has happened so far. Maybe they're just so bored too. That has to kill you, asking what kind of coffee somebody wants every five minutes and then having to make it. Sort of like having to make a sandwich every five minutes. Hmmm.

I like this Jordin Sparks album already. I'm only two songs deep but the first was this catchy song they've started playing on the radio called "tattoo". And the second was a duet with Chris Brown. I wouldn't necessarily buy the album, but I wouldn't change the station if her songs were on.

I've also decided I like the colors starbucks is decorated in. Maybe my house will be painted like Starbucks some day. It could happen.

Oh, I have a bit of baseball news! Ok, so I read some rumor/report/whatever online about the Mets talking to David Eckstein about possibly playing for them at second base. Interesting. I don't know how I feel about Eckstein right now. I think he's a good catalyst for making things happen when he plays well, but couldn't that be said for anybody. He's not a quitter, that's always a plus. He's not Adam Kennedy. That's always good. I'm not sure how much he has in him and how much money he wants to make. I'm sure if someone good frees up, I'd prefer them anyway. I have nothing against the little guy, we might just need a youngin' who stays healthy.

Oh, I also found out the Cardinals are trying to hire a new bat boy! Remember, because Josh-the regular bat boy- has finally relinquished this honored position. The requirements are having to be a good student in school, available for all the games and travelling, and being at least 16 years old. It never said you actually have to be a "boy". Which got me wondering-what if I applied for the position. I went through the motions in my head. I imagined being in the locker room or handing them their bats or getting new gloves for them. It's not really a glamorous position. I'm sure it would weird them out having a 23 year old woman running back and forth fetching their items. Or maybe those freaks would like it, I dunno. I've decided the Cardinals did not insist the job is for a "boy" under the requirements cause I could sue them. But they're not fooling me, a girl would never be hired. Also, that's not a job I've been pining after. Oh well. It was fun imagining making fun of the guys behind their backs anyway. I could've had the best blogs ev-er.

Wow. Nothing is happening here. This is like some calm ass hell hole.

Some Things I know to Be True

• The Patriots are Evil: If it's not the secret cameras and sinister spying, it's the way somebody sold their soul (probably Belichick) to help them become the dominant and demonic team they are. They scored 56 on the Bills today. I'm not saying that's impossible. I'm saying, with the way Belichick dresses on the sidelines and the way Thomas Bradius Maximus impregnates (building an evil army?) and dates (is Giselle's womb next?), they can't be trusted. I'm surprised they didn't score 666 today. EVIL, I tell you.

• The Rams Must've Left a Load in New Orleans: Cause they aren't feeling as crappy as they were last week. Must be that "we just won a game" feeling. Winning one has them setting higher standards...well, standards anyway... for themselves. They went from having a camera shot of a player barely containing his joy and shock at winning last week (appearing to hide his smile behind his jersey like a five year old would)- to expecting major disappointment if they let today's game get away. They didn't. Yay winning streak. What? I can say that now.

• Barry Bonds is going to have a bad year: I know that's the most obvious statement ever, but I told you there were some things I knew to be true. This is one of them. Also, my cousin passed by a news stand yesterday, stopped in her tracks, bent closer and, reading the headline out loud, said, "Barry Bonds is IndiCted!" (pronouncing the silent C). I just pointed and laughed at her for a minute and a half. That's what you do in those situations. Trust me.

• An owl, or a bird that sounds like an owl, lives around our house: I have been hearing it over the last two nights. Here's the evidence I'm not crazy. A.) I've always been an insomniac, so I know what noises to expect at night. An owl in our neighborhood is not one of them. B.) It's hooting. C.) Why would I say an owl lives outside our house. I don't need that kind of attention.

• Ella Fitzgerald is flippin' awesome:If her voice were a drink, it would be velvety chocolate cocoa on a cold, rainy day by the fireplace. And I would drink it up, man.

A Rift in the Family (and something about some guy in NY)

Uh oh, Scotty and Big Daddy Tony can't get over the fight that left Scotty's ego with a booboo as a consequence of the '06 NLCS in which LaRussa sat out Rolen. Wow. Get...over...it. It worked out for the best at the time. Scott Speizio, a fill in for Rolen, hit the game tying R.B.I.s in that series shifting second game and when Rolen came back to play, he played better than he had all year. I wish Scotty would look in the mirror and repeat the following, "I play for a city that loves me and adores baseball, I now have a WS ring and I'm making 36 million dollars over the next three years". There...that should do the trick. Now go work on fixing your bum shoulder, goddamnit, and play baseball. And if you can't handle that, we don't want you. Cause that's how we roll, biatch. (That-and we still have Pujols)

Oh, and of course, the biggest news of the day is Alex Rodriguez resigning with the Yankees for 10 years and $275 million buckaroos. Well, I would've rather overpaid for some solid pitching, but that's just me. I guess we'll get to see a never ending re-run of "A-Rod in Gotham" over the next decade. Gee whiz. How grand.

WILL HIS WIFE SEND US TRASH TALKIN' MESSAGES ON HER T-SHIRTS AGAIN? WILL HE GET MORE PICTURES TAKEN OF HIM GALAVANTING WITH STRIPPERS!?!?! WILL HE EVER HIT IN THE PLAY-OFFS EVER AGAIN!? TUNE IN AT THE SAME BAT TIME...SAME BAT CHANNEL!

[Insert your name] has an STD! Ewww!

You may or may not have an STD. That is irrelevant.

What is relevant? The Cardinals are being sued by the mother of a high school student who attended a K.C. Royals-St. Louis Cardinals game in 2006 with her classmates, I believe under school supervision. Apparently, with the advantageous "send your text message to the scoreboard for all to see" thing they have going on at Busch, a fellow classmate took the opportunity to text message that said-girl, now under the alias of A.B., ..."has an STD. Ewwww!" Now, as contagious as this story is starting to become-and I mean, it's spreading in all news outlets- I'm just going to leave it at that. I don't wanna catch whatever A.B. has, no matter how little truth there is to that rumor or how impossible it is to catch it online. Moral of the story? Sometimes paying that $1.99 is worth it.

Wait, that's not the moral?

This does excite me about attending future games at Busch. I always wondered if I could send some crazy text to the scoreboard but worried it wouldn't go through. Now I feel good about my chances.

I Was Born Before 1995...and I'll Prove It!

So I was stalled for things to talk about this week. Life isn’t very interesting, well, at least, anything I can talk about isn’t very interesting. I’m listening to my “iTunes” radio station. There’s a bunch of different musical categories and streams coming from everywhere, including those for international music. I was trying to get my hands on some good ole Arabic music but some weird techno music is coming out of the Arabic Stream instead. It’s weird and irksome, considering I despise techno music, but what’re you gonna do? Well, if you’re me, you tune into some college radio station, get annoyed by it, then you move onto Indie-Pop-Rock. Weird combo, I know. I can’t help it.

Anyways, I’m too exhausted to complain about players and coaches not voting for Yadier Molina, or Albert Pujols for that matter, to receive gold gloves. What’re they thinking? I don’t really know. I’m sure I could expend some energy and write up a bunch of figures and stats that would obviously support why these players’ should have been rewarded. I thought a gold glove for Molina was in the bag, considering he completely shut down the opposition’s running game, even against the speedy superstars like Jose Reyes and Hanley Ramirez. In fact, I believe base stealer’s attempts were less than 50% successful against Molina. I’m too lazy to check, just take my word for it. I’m so sick of these deserving players getting robbed that I’m not even enthused enough to check right now. I promise I’ll check later. But today, I thought we should get to know each other better.

I’m here for fun and I’m sure there’s always room for you to get to know me better through a survey, n’est pas? That’s French for, “no?” or “right?” or “eh?” I bet you didn’t know I could speak French. See? A lot to learn about me. This survey is cleverly called “Born before ‘95” because if you were born before 1995, apparently you can answer all the questions with ease. How convenient for me. There is a twist. I spent 1993-1998 living in a third world country. So…this should be fun.

Born Before ‘95

Which spice girl did you like? I thought Posh Spice was the prettiest, so I liked her best. That was my only reason. Right now? Her looks have worn off on me. No more charm.

Backstreet Boys or N*Sync? Hey, if you’re cool, N*Sync. But I have to say, I didn’t think they were cool until they sang “Gone” and by that point, we were all closet fans. So don’t judge me.

Did you watch S Club 7? No. I don’t even understand what this is. The name rings a bell, but this must be when I was in a third world country. Shit happens.

What was your favorite, Sandlot or Little Rascals? Sandlot. Little Rascals was pathetic. I prefer the baseball movies anyway.

Did you ever have light up sneakers? I was never that cool. Or lucky. I did have pumps! Does that make me cool enough for you?

Cinderella or Snow White? Cinderella all the way. Snow White sounds like she sucks on helium balloons all the time. Not cool, man, not cool.

What was your favorite holiday? Thanksgiving. Cause we would actually celebrate that one (we’re Muslims). I love seeing family, and I love eating, hence, I like Thanksgiving. Halloween would've been first except for the fact that my mom stuck me in the same traditional Arabic dress each year and I paraded around as a "gypsy". Damnit.

Did you ever try to stay up on Christmas just so you could see santa? No, as a Muslim, my parents never considered the notion of letting me believe in Santa Claus. As a child, I inwardly laughed at my friends’ belief in the jolly, fat guy. Outwardly, I nodded and smiled at their stories.

You ever watch Bill Nye the Science Guy? Hell to the yeah! AND it was WHILE I was in Palestine! That’s the reach of Bill Nye, my friends.

What grade did you like the best? I distinctly remembering declaring, as a first grader, “I love school. I’ll never hate school” and my brothers and sister warning me that wasn’t true. They were so wise. What happened? Second Grade and Miss Dueser, that's what. So anyways, that must mean first grade.

Ninja Turtles or Power Rangers? I can’t even believe this is a question. Power Rangers have nothing….NOTHING... on the Ninja Turtles. How despicable.

What Power Ranger were you? I think I just threw up in my mouth, a little bit.

Did you ever own a Chinese jump rope? no. I didn't own a lot of things. I chose my battles, like convincing my mom to get me happy meals when the siblings weren't around.

What was your favorite thing to eat? Fried Chicken, sometimes pizza. I’m surprised I was never morbidly obese.

What was your favorite color? I’ve stuck with blue for a while now. I think it was a good call.

Did you prefer, “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego” or “Where’s Waldo?” ohhh, toughie. I think I’ll never get sick of Where’s Waldo. But when “Where in the World…” was good, it was good.

Do you ever miss being a little kid? God, yes. I miss riding my bike in the summer, not having to worry about work or any responsibilities, swimming in Jenny Steward's kiddy pool, telling my younger brother that elves carved a secret door in the tree across our street (and loving that he believed me. Fool.), my friends and I choosing between A.C. Slater and Zack Morris to be our pretend husbands in a game of house…I miss it all.

What was your first pet’s name? Kitty/Friday (With the amount of "Kittys'" we've had since, it could also be called Kitty 1.)

Who was your best friend in kindergarten? Jenny Steward/ Dalal Safi

Are you still friends with the person you were best friends with? Still best friends with Dalal. I’ve lost touch with Jenny but I wanna reach her again. We graduated together. Okay, now I’m sad.

How many times have you switched schools including preschool? Before 1995? Three times. But I was checking through high school graduation in my head and it was 5 all together. Weird. See, that’s what living in two countries will do to you.

What did you want to be when you grew up? A nurse or artist...

What was your all time favorite movie? I think it was Batman or Cinderella. I know, the difference is palpable.

Which did you like ‘Are You Afraid Of The Dark’ or ‘AHH! Real Monsters? Are You Afraid of the Dark. What’s Real Monsters? No idea.

Did you watch Rocko’s Modern Life? No. But that sounds familiar.

Did you collect pogs? No.

Who was your favorite character in Doug? Doug. Or his dog. I forget.

Did you like War Heads? No. Is that a game or the candy. While we're on the topic of candy, I loved that Big League Chew gum. Still love it. Good stuff.

Favorite rugrat? Chucky at first, but that kid annoys the crap outta me now. Tommy was cool from the get go. But I CAN do an impression of Chucky.

Well, apparently these are the questions that only people born before 1995 can answer. Too bad for you poor suckas born post ’95. You obviously missed out.

Well, Look Who Decided to Become their Sworn Enemy...

So let me preface this all by saying, yes, I am indeed still bitter about the outcome of the 2004 World Series. I figured 2006 would of made up for it, but I still feel like a little bit of me died that former series. And we all know, once something dies, it never comes back. There, I hope I've brought you down a notch to my world of dwellery and feel as angry as I not-so-secretly feel now that the Red Sox have won it all, again. Those bastards.

I feel cheated at having had to waste so much time consoling myself by saying, "well, they never win, that was their first in an eternity, how historic...I guess". Let's not lie to ourselves. That was all crap, because they won it all 3 years later.

I know, I know. Many of you are thinking that if I weren't biased, then I would realize it really was a historic moment and that it was better to have lost to a team like that, than say, another Yankees team part of some dynasty that won it the year before. Well, no. I don't see it that way. I am a baseball fan. But above all, I am a loyal Cardinals' fan. I love them more than I love any other team. I love them more than I love some people. I'm sorry you had to hear that, but, well, it's true. And if that scares you, then you should go entertain yourself with something that is fake and cheesy, maybe High School Musical. But before you do that, I should have you know that the main chic, that Vanessa Hudgens girl who plays some virginal sweet nerd? She takes naked pictures of herself and sends them to guys. There. Now run along and sing with Zac Effron you delusional...

I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Come back to me baby. Sometimes when I get mad, I say things and do things that I... let's just put it all behind us. You just make me so mad sometimes, but it's because I love you so much. All better? Good.

Now let's get down to business. What this really has done is ruined the days of when we all rooted for the Red Sox. We all knew the system, it was us against them. The simpler times, when it was the Yankees fans versus everyone else. Now, I root for the Yankees to beat the Boston Red Sox. So who are the biggest losers here? The Red Sox. Now, their fan base may not see it that way, because they've won 2 championship titles in 4 years, but let's not lose sight of the bigger picture here. Their fandom before the '04 title was made up of decades of tears, heart ache, loyalty beyond imagination and patience. It was a careful mixture of ingredients filled with passion that went beyond just winning and love more complete than a classic novel, and there it simmered for generation after generation until that pot boiled over in '04. Suddenly that pure recipe was being devoured by moochers galore, who dropped to the lowly floor where bandwagoners licked the remnants of what the Red Sox used to represent right off until they were nothing but a shadow of their former self. Yes, a prose fit for a love sick and self loathing poet, I know.

Maybe I'm just hungry (I realize the cooking analogy went too far) or maybe I'm stating the obvious. But we all know now that now the Red Sox have won, twice in four years, and now the fan base has been polluted with cocky bastards who shuffle between Red Sox games and New England Patriot games, they've lost the most essential part of their Red Sox-ness. Their identity.

I realize they've always had an east coast mentality. They were always deluded into thinking they were the most important game on TV if it was a game featuring them against the Yankees. Yes, they even overlooked the fact that a city even larger than theirs, Chicago, had two teams, one with a longer drought without a WS appearance or win and one almost as long as theirs. Despite that, they carried themselves with self pity as if they were the poster child of what a loyal fan truely looks like. But I could look beyond all that because they consisted mainly of a large portion of humble New Englanders who were just sick of losing to the Yankees the way they did year after year.

Then they won. With Curt "A-hole" Schilling, no less. And we noticed their payroll rivalled you know who's. And they began to buy players left and right, like you know who. They overpaid for Japanese phenoms, like you know who. They even rolled their eyes and told the rest of us we were jealous when we complained about their over-saturated media coverage, just like you...know...who...

And the sad thing is, once the dust settles and the Boston Red Sox start to come back down to earth and once they start to miss post season appearances, they'll not only have lost all of those shufflers and bandwagon fans, they'll have lost the respect and underdog quality that always made them rootable. Their story is a boring one now. They're another Yankees team. Some are even starting to whisper dynasty. Except they'll never rival the Yankees success, until they manage to rack up the 26 championships the Yankees have.

You may believe I'm overthinking this, but the story of the Red Sox is less fruitful. They've become just one more evil empire to root against on a coast of evil empires. They have become their enemy, the very thing they hated for so long. This might not mean much to them at this point because they're probably watching SportsCenter to see if anything pops up about the upcoming Patriots vs. Colts game, but I want them to consider this; How did you feel about the Yankees when Aaron Boone hit that walk off ALCS homer against you? That's how I think of you now. Yeah, I went there. Oh snap.

ESPN's Greatest Moments in LCS History

So here's a fun read from ESPN.com's page 2. I was at # 29! YAY FOR ME! And I don't agree with the order of all of these, but it's still fun to reminisce.

The 50 greatest moments in LCS history By Thomas Neumann, Mike Philbrick, David SchoenfieldPage 2 Updated: October 12, 2007, 1:36 PM ET

Baseball is about the unexpected, the surprise, the drama of one pitch or one at-bat deciding a game or a series. Let's hope we get many such moments in this year's League Championship Series. Here are our 50 greatest moments in LCS history (remember, the ALCS and NLCS were best-of-five from 1969 through 1984).

50. Zimmer charges Pedro, Game 3, 2003 (Yankees vs. Red Sox): A Yankee (Karim Garcia!) gets plunked by Pedro Martinez. Pedro then gestures to the Yankee dugout, possibly indicating he's going to throw at their heads. Fast-forward to a high-inside Roger Clemens pitch to Manny Ramirez. Benches clear and 72-year-old Yankees bench coach Don Zimmer tries to take out Pedro, only to be thrown to the ground.

49. Jose Canseco's mammoth home run at SkyDome, Game 4, 1989: Canseco's blast off Mike Flanagan landed in the fifth deck.

48. Gary Carter beats Charlie Kerfeld in 12th inning, Game 5, 1986: Do you remember Kerfeld? He was a rookie with a gut, long hair and glasses. He also threw some serious heat. Game 5 had been a classic duel between Nolan Ryan and Dwight Gooden. Ryan fanned 12 in nine innings. Gooden went 10. With it still tied 1-1 in the 12th, Wally Backman reached on an infield single, went to second on an errant pickoff throw and, after Keith Hernandez was intentionally walked, Carter (who was 1-for-21 in the series at that point) singled to center for the winning hit.

47. Dave Roberts' steal, Game 4, 2004 (Red Sox vs. Yankees): Bottom of the ninth, Yankees lead 4-3 and Mariano Rivera is on the mound to complete the sweep. Kevin Millar walks and is replaced by Roberts, whose lead grows with every throw to first, leading Fox analyst Al Leiter to say, "He's goin'." Rivera finally pitches to Bill Mueller, and Roberts steals second. Mueller hits the next one up the middle, Roberts scores to tie the game and the rest is choking history.

46. Adam Kennedy homers three times, Game 5, 2002 (Angels vs. Twins): Kennedy had already homered twice off Joe Mays when his three-run blast off Johan Santana in the seventh gave the Angels a 6-5 lead. The Angels would go on to score 10 runs in the inning to wrap up the series.

45. A.J. Pierzynski reaches base after striking out, Game 2, 2005 (White Sox vs. Angels): After initially hesitating, Pierzynski dashed to first base upon realizing that plate umpire Doug Eddings hadn't called an out after Pierzynski's swinging third strike. Angels catcher Josh Paul, convinced he caught the third strike cleanly, rolled the ball out to the mound. Pinch runner Pablo Ozuna then stole second and scored the winning run on Joe Crede's double.

44. Roger Clemens goes nuts, Game 4, 1990 (Red Sox vs. A's): With the Red Sox down in the series 3-0, Clemens faced Dave Stewart to try to prevent the sweep. Clemens was pumped ... too pumped. Clad in his son's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shoelaces and eye black, Clemens turned in a 1.2 IP, 3 H, 3 ER line before being ejected by umpire Terry Cooney for arguing balls and strikes. The Sox lost their 10th straight playoff game.

43. Bert Campaneris throws bat at Lerrin LaGrow, Game 2, 1972 (A's vs. Tigers): After banging out three hits, stealing two bases and scoring two runs, Campaneris was hit in the ankle by a pitch from LaGrow. Campaneris flung his bat at the Detroit pitcher, and Tigers skipper Billy Martin had to be restrained from going after Campy. Both players were suspended for the remainder of the series.

42. Brian Hunter's three-run homer, Game 7, 1991 (Braves vs. Pirates): The Braves had won 1-0 in Game 6 on Greg Olson's ninth-inning double. They didn't wait that long to inflict final misery upon the Pirates. Hunter's two-out shot off John Smiley in the first inning was all John Smoltz would need in a 4-0, six-hit shutout.

41. Alfonso Soriano shocks Seattle, Game 4, 2001 (Yankees vs. Mariners): The 116-win Mariners trailed the series 2-1, yet led 1-0 in Game 4 after Bret Boone homered in the eighth. But Bernie Williams hit one out off Arthur Rhodes and Soriano won it with a walkoff against Kaz Sasaki in the ninth.

40. Jim Sundberg's triple, Game 7, 1985 (Royals vs. Blue Jays): The Royals had trailed 3-1 in the series, but Sundberg's bases-clearing triple off Dave Stieb was the big blow in a 6-2 win in Game 7.

39. Bert Campaneris' 11th-inning blast, 1973, Game 3 (A's vs. Orioles): In one of the great LCS pitching duels, Ken Holtzman and Mike Cuellar were both still tossing in the 11th. Campy's leadoff homer in the bottom of the 11th sent the A's home happy with a 2-1 victory.

38. Big Papi's game winner, 14th inning, Game 5, 2004 (Red Sox vs. Yankees): Could David Ortiz win two games in two days for the Red Sox? Yes. The victim this time was Esteban Loaiza, as Big Papi's two-out, game-winning single in the bottom of the 14th inning (on the 471st pitch of the game) sent the ALCS back to New York. You know the rest

37. George Brett homers three times off Yankees, Game 3, 1978 (Royals vs. Yankees): Brett homered in the first, third and fifth innings, all off Catfish Hunter. However...

36. Thurman Munson's home run, Game 3, 1978 (Royals vs. Yankees): K.C. led 5-4 in the bottom of the eighth. After a Roy White single, Doug Bird replaced Paul Splittorff, but the Yankees' captain homered to left for a 6-5 win. For the third straight season, the Yankees had defeated the Royals in the ALCS.

35. Livan Hernandez fans 15, Game 5, 1997 (Marlins vs. Braves): With help from Eric Gregg.

34. Endy Chavez's catch, Game 7, 2006 (Mets vs. Cardinals): The greatest catch ever? Chavez's amazing, leaping, over-the-wall, snow-cone grab robbed Scott Rolen of a go-ahead home run in the sixth inning. Alas, the Cardinals would score two in the ninth for a 3-1 win.

33. Magglio Ordonez's homer off Huston Street, Game 4, 2006 (Tigers vs. A's): Ordonez blasted a three-run, walk-off shot to left with two outs to give the Tigers their first AL pennant, 22 years to the day after winning their last World Series.

32. Pete Rose and Bud Harrelson fight, Game 3, 1973 (Reds vs. Mets): Despite Rose's tying homer in Game 1 and winning homer in the 12th inning of Game 4, it's the dust-up between Rose and the smallish Mets shortstop that is most remembered. After Rose slid into second and popped Harrelson with an elbow, words were exchanged and both benches cleared, although neither player was ejected. The Mets, winners of just 82 regular-season games, went on to win in five.

31. Lenny Dykstra's walk-off home run, Game 3, 1986 (Mets vs. Astros): He wasn't yet the pumped-up Dykstra of his Phillies days, but he still had the chaw dripping from his mouth. Dystkra's two-run homer beat Dave Smith 6-5, leading to one of the all-time classic postgame quotes: "I haven't done that since Strat-o-Matic."

30. Jeff Kent's homer off Jason Isringhausen, Game 5, 2004 (Astros vs. Cardinals): Entering the bottom of the ninth, the St. Louis tandem of Woody Williams and Isringhausen and the Houston duo of Brandon Backe and Brad Lidge had allowed just one hit each. With two runners on, Kent blasted a shot off the left-field facade at Minute Maid Park to give the Astros a 3-2 series lead after losing the first two games.

29. Jim Edmonds' homer off Dan Miceli, Game 6, 2004 (Cardinals vs. Astros): Two days later, Edmonds hit a 12th-inning, walk-off shot over the Cardinals' bullpen in right field off Miceli. Astros manager Phil Garner turned to Miceli after Brad Lidge threw three perfect innings.

28. Scott Rolen's homer off Roger Clemens, Game 7, 2004 (Cardinals vs. Astros): What a series! Rolen's two-run shot broke a 2-2 tie in the sixth inning, ultimately sending St. Louis to the World Series and touching off speculation whether Clemens would re-retire.

27. Mike Scioscia homers off Doc Gooden, Game 4, 1988 (Dodgers vs. Mets): Scioscia's ninth-inning, two-run line drive shot to right tied the game, leading to...

26. Kirk Gibson's 12th-inning home run, Game 4, 1988 (Dodgers vs. Mets): Gibson's blast off Roger McDowell gave the Dodgers the lead, and Orel Hershiser (who had started Game 3) would come on for the save, leading to ... Hershiser's pitching a shutout in Game 7, as the Dodgers pulled off one of the great upsets in LCS history.

25. Albert Pujols takes Brad Lidge deeeeeeeep, Game 5, 2005 (Cardinals vs. Astros): With Houston one strike away from earning its first World Series trip, Pujols crushed a hanging slider by Lidge, launching a three-run homer over the train tracks high atop left field at Minute Maid Park. Astros starter Andy Pettitte could be clearly seen on camera in the dugout mouthing the words, "Oh my," as Pujols' blast sailed into orbit.

24. Johnny Bench's game-tying homer, Game 5, 1972: The Pirates led 3-2 entering the bottom of the ninth when Bench led off with a homer off Dave Giusti. Two outs later...

23. Reds win series on wild pitch, Game 5, 1972: After Bench's homer, Tony Perez and Denis Menke each singled, and with two outs Bob Moose wild pitched in pinch runner George Foster for the series-winning (losing?) run.

22. Greg Luzinski's misplay, Game 3, 1977 (Phillies vs. Dodgers): Series tied 1-1, Phillies leading 5-3 in the top of the ninth. Two outs. Insanity ensues: 41-year-old Vic Davalillo reaches on a bunt single. Manny Mota hits a fly to left that the lumbering Luzinski couldn't field cleanly (it was ruled a double). Davey Lopes' grounder to third hits a seam, bounces off Mike Schmidt's knee to Larry Bowa, who may or may not have gotten Lopes on a controversial safe call. There's an error on a pickoff throw. Then a go-ahead single. As Jim Murray wrote, "God had had it with the Phillies." The Phillies, who hadn't been to a World Series since 1950, would lose Game 4.

21. Steve Garvey's home run, Game 4, 1984 (Padres vs. Cubs): Garvey's shot in the bottom of the ninth off Lee Smith forced a decisive Game 5. Thanks largely to that homer, the Padres eventually retired Garvey's No. 6 jersey. The Dodgers haven't done so. 20. Roger Clemens fans 15, allows one hit, Game 4, 2000 (Yankees vs. Mariners): In the most dominating LCS game ever pitched (tied for most strikeouts and the only one-hitter), Clemens allowed only a seventh-inning double to Al Martin.

19. Jeffrey Maier interferes with Derek Jeter's fly ball, Game 1, 1996 (Orioles vs. Yankees): Right fielder Tony Tarasco was camped at the warning track ... a 12-year-old kid reaches over the fence ... umpire Richie Garcia somehow misses the interference ... the Yankees tie the game on the "home run" and win it in 11 innings on Bernie Williams' home run.

18. Kenny Rogers walks in series-winning run, Game 6, 1999 (Braves vs. Mets): The Braves had won the first three games of the series. The Mets won the next two. Game 6 was a tug-of-war as Atlanta led 5-0, New York tied it 7-7, both teams scored in the eighth and 10th, before Rogers -- much-maligned in New York for his postseason performances with the Yankees -- entered in the bottom of the 11th. Gerald Williams led off with a double and, after a sacrifice, Chipper Jones and Brian Jordan were intentionally walked. The 3-2 pitch to Andruw Jones was wide. Series over.

17. Dodgers pitch to Jack Clark, Game 6, 1985 (Cardinals vs. Dodgers): Whatever you do, don't ever bring up Tom Niedenfuer's name to a Dodgers fan. Leading 5-4 in the top of ninth with runners on second and third and two outs, Tommy Lasorda elected to pitch to Jack Clark, St. Louis' only power hitter. He drills a long blast to left. Series. Over.

16. Rick Monday beats Expos, Game 5, 1981 (Dodgers vs Expos): Tied 1-1 in the top of the ninth, Expos manager Jim Fanning brought in ace Steve Rogers, who had won Game 3. With two outs, Monday homered. It was the closest the Expos would ever come to the World Series.

15. Phillies finally celebrate, Game 5, 1980 (Phillies vs. Astros): We could probably do a list of 50 moments from this series alone. The final four games all went extra innings. In Game 5, the Phillies trailed 5-2 after seven, but scored five times against Nolan Ryan in the top of the eighth. The Astros scored twice to tie it. Philly finally pushed a run across in the 10th. Dick Ruthven got Enos Cabell to fly to center, and the Phillies would go on to win their only World Series title.

14. George Brett homers off Goose Gossage, Game 3, 1980 (Royals vs. Yankees): Kansas City had suffered devastating defeats to the Bronx Bombers in '76, '77 and '78, but finally got some revenge. The Yankees led 2-1 in the seventh when Gossage hummed a 98 mph fastball that Brett crushed into the upper deck at Yankee Stadium, a huge blast that gave a K.C. a 4-2 lead and, finally, a series victory over the hated Yanks.

13. Curt Schilling's bloody sock, Game 6, 2004 (Red Sox vs. Yankees): Hobbled by an ankle injury, Schilling had turned in a three-inning, six-run stinker against the Yankees in Game 1. After the game, Schilling said "I won't take the ball again" if he couldn't find a solution. One cadaver practice later, team doctor Bill Morgan stitched up Schilling's tendon, we had a bloody sock, and Schilling delivered a seven-inning, one-run performance.

12. Grady Little leaves in Pedro Martinez, Game 7, 2003 (Yankees vs. Red Sox): Managerial moves get over-dissected, but this one ... well, this one was warranted. The Red Sox had a 5-3 lead and one out in the eighth. Everyone knew Pedro's numbers hit the toilet after 100 pitches. Little left him in to give up hits to Bernie Williams, Hideki Matsui and Jorge Posada. With the score tied 5-5, Little finally relieved Pedro -- after 123 pitches. And then lost his job.

11. Leon Durham's error, Game 5, 1984 (Cubs vs. Padres): Did Ryne Sandberg spill Gatorade on Durham's glove? Did Cubs coach Don Zimmer tell Durham not to switch gloves because the Gatorade might bring good luck? What we know for sure is that Durham threw a ball away and let another go through his legs in the seventh inning, turning a 3-2 lead into a 6-3 series-ending defeat.

10. Johnny Damon's grand slam, Game 7, 2004 (Red Sox vs. Yankees): Could the Sox complete the miracle? Some thought Damon, who was 3-for-29 in the series, should be benched or moved down from his leadoff spot. But his grand slam at Yankee Stadium in the second inning off Javier Vazquez (who had just relieved Kevin Brown) stunned and silenced the home crowd. Damon would later add another homer as Boston finished off the Yanks with a 10-3 victory. (The Sox had trailed the Yankees 3-0 in the series, and no team had ever come back from such a deficit to win an LCS or World Series).

9. Robin Ventura's grand slam single in 15th inning, Game 5, 1999 (Mets vs. Braves): The teams had been deadlocked at 2-2 since the fourth inning. The Braves finally pushed a run across in the top of the 15th on Keith Lockhart's RBI triple. Against Kevin McGlinchy, with rain coming down at Shea Stadium, the Mets loaded the bases. Todd Pratt walked to tie the game. Ventura then homered to center, although the play was ruled a single when Pratt failed to run the bases, instead mobbing Ventura at second base.

8. The Bartman Play, Game 6, 2003 (Cubs vs. Marlins): Unfair to Bartman? Perhaps. But his fan interference is remembered as the key play in Florida's eight-run eighth inning as the Marlins rallied from a 3-0 deficit. Chicago's Game 7 loss seemed inevitable.

7. Dave Henderson's homer off Donnie Moore, 9th inning, Game 5, 1986 (Red Sox vs. Angels): The Angels and manager Gene Mauch, who had famously managed the collapse of the '64 Phillies, were one out -- one strike -- from their first World Series trip when Hendu's two-run homer gave Boston a 6-5 lead. The Angels would actually tie it in the bottom of the ninth, before Boston won (on a Henderson sac fly) in the 11th. Boston would win the next two, as well.

6. The 16th inning, Game 6, 1986 (Mets vs. Astros): Many call it the greatest baseball game ever played. Houston -- with Cy Young winner Mike Scott ready for Game 7 -- led 3-0 entering the top of the ninth. The Mets tied it. The Mets scored in the 14th. Billy Hatcher homered to tie it. The Mets scored three times in the 16th for a 7-4 lead. Houston rallied with two runs and had two on with two outs. Finally, on a 3-2 pitch, his 54th in relief, Jesse Orosco struck out Kevin Bass swinging. The unsung hero for the Mets: Roger McDowell pitched five innings of one-hit relief.

5. David Ortiz's home run, 12th inning, Game 4, 2004 (Red Sox vs. Yankees): The greatest and most dramatic comeback in baseball history began with a ninth-inning rally off Mariano Rivera. It ended when Big Papi homered to right on a 2-1 pitch from Paul Quantrill for a 6-4 Boston victory.

4. Ozzie Smith beats Tom Niedenfuer, Game 5, 1985 (Cardinals vs. Dodgers): Smith's homer in the bottom of the ninth -- the first batting left-handed in his career up to that point -- led to the great Jack Buck's memorable call, "Go crazy, folks! Go crazy! The Cardinals have won the game, by the score of 3-2, on a home run by The Wizard! Go crazy!"

3. Chris Chambliss' walk-off home run, ninth inning, Game 5, 1976 (Yankees vs. Royals): The Bronx Bombers had fallen on hard times and were back in the postseason for the first time since 1964. George Brett had tied the game with a three-run homer in the eighth. Chambliss led off the bottom of the ninth against Mark Littell, who had retired all five batters he'd faced. Chambliss hit the first pitch over the right-center wall and famously rounded the bases through a mob of Yankee fans that had rushed the field.

2. Aaron Boone's 11th-inning home run, Game 7, 2003: Pedro ... Grady ... three scoreless innings from Mike Mussina ... two home runs from Jason Giambi ... three scoreless innings from Mariano Rivera ... in the end, the Yankees beat the Red Sox. Again. The victory was so emotional, Joe Torre cried on the field as the team celebrated.

1. Francisco Cabrera's single, Game 7, 1992 (Braves vs. Pirates): The most ultimate do-or-die situation in baseball history. The little-used Cabrera (only 10 at-bats in the regular season) pinch-hit with two outs, the bases loaded and Atlanta trailing 2-1. His single to left off Stan Belinda scored David Justice and the sloth-footed Sid Bream, who just beat the throw from Barry Bonds, capping the Braves' three-run rally. For the Pirates, it was the hit that destroyed a franchise: It was their third straight defeat in the NLCS and they haven't finished above .500 since.

Sources: Baseball-reference.com, with an assist from retrosheet.org, was invaluable with some of the play-by-play details.

Cheaters or Psychics?

My little psychics! You've all predicted the Indians and Rockies are headed to the World Series according to last week's poll! Either you've been watching the NLCS and ALCS with eagle eyes or you've wished it would happen so much that it might come true. Good for you. Keep the wishin' going. The Rockies are already in the fall classic and the Indians are one win away. I have to admit this was my preferred World Series, but I feared the Red Sox evil might (strengh in numbers...in millions of dollars-hence numbers). It seems as though my wishes are coming true as well. One more game, Indians. One more game. Whatever you do, don't pull an '04 Yankees.

The Stabilizer is Gone

What happens when you remove a stabilizer?

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Walt Jocketty, central in bringing winning baseball and stabilization to the Cardinals organization for most of the last 13 years, has been dismissed by Cardinal ownership.

Bill Dewitt cried "scapegoat!" yesterday and despite all of the misfortunes the Cardinals faced in this disappointing year, this latest development has caused me the most sadness. To me, this essentially ends an era of winning baseball. As an ardent fan (and cousin) expressed so well, echoing the sentiment of most of Cardinal nation's emotions yesterday, this leaves nothing but a lack of leadership and a lack of certainty, two things we've been fortunate enough not to have worried about in the last decade.

7 Division Titles. 1 Wild Card Win. 6 NL Pennant appearances. 2 Pennant wins. A 2006 World Series Championship.

Yes, despite the injuries, death, DUI and rehab problems we faced this season, the firing of a respected man with proven results has disheartened me the most. I can't shake the feeling that the rest of the NL Central is celebrating what I feel may be the Cardinals' biggest loss yet.

Now we look to LaRussa. Will he stay or will he go?

Three things I know...

1. Hey Mets fans, this collapse wasn't pretty. They never are. If anything, I almost-kind of-feel sorry for you because I know what it's like to go through something that's close to a collapse. I mean, it's bad enough that you lost, but you've got to hear about this as being a "monumental" sort of collapse from the national media, and to make matters worse, from PHILLIES fans too... of all fans? (shutter) I know, it's hard. But this wasn't your year. Neither was last year, when my Red Birds nearly choked as well but slipped through to eventually kick your butts and revel in our glory with the near collapse a distant memory :) I guess that wasn't comforting. Never mind.

2. Does anyone else notice that the "Central Division Champs", the Cubbies, have only 2 more wins than the Cards did last year at the close of the regular season? The same team that had to hear they "backed" into the play-offs from every news outlet? The Cubbies, who even played one more game than the NL Central Division champs of last year, have 85 wins. Again...we need to hear this, only TWO MORE wins than the Cards had last year. I am offended at the indifference.

3. I went to a movie theater yesterday to watch Superbad (One of my friends will be crowned with the nickname McLovin' before all is said and done ) and during the time alotted for previews, we were subjected to some weird acapella theater show of dudes who had looks on their faces like they were being poked in their happy places. It was so horrendous and corny, I thought we were being punk'd. They played 10 minutes of that mess for a crowd of people who paid to see "Superbad"? I don't understand. But more importantly, I actually said the words: "I know it's Ramadan, but I swear I want to shoot myself right now."

This is What Getting the Last Laugh Looks Like

All it took was two consecutive days for the Cardinals to play pay-back ball against foes, both new and old.

On Wednesday night, the Cardinals, sick of seeing a Brewers ball club pound them and still find reasons to complain as they did in the first game of the series, took it upon themselves to play the role of a big brother teaching their little brother a lesson in whining when winning. In a series blessed with a surplus of retaliatory pitches, the final straw occurred when Brewers reliever Seth McClung gave Pujols the old plunker with one out in the eighth inning- unfortunately (for the brewers) after both benches were warned earlier in the game by homeplate umpire Tom Hallion. Brewers manager Ned Yost and Mclung were both ejected, but more importantly, Albert Pujols reached first base to start an eventual 4 run rally that jacked the nail in the Brewers coffin on the game and perhaps their play-off chances. Does it make sense taking an eliminated team's psychological war-fare more seriously than securing a series sweep and gaining on the team ahead of them, who had already lost-mind you, in the Cubs? NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! Maybe they don't deserve to win after all. Apparently they're not mentally prepared for this all.

The next night, the Cards carried over their pay-back and bitterness at having to fly to NY for a make-up game of the "rain out" from that late June series in New York when the Mets were playing hotter baseball. That game could've actually been played if the Mets were patient enough to wait out the pathetic hour it took for the weather to clear up. Instead, with a double-header looming for the Mets the following day, the club persuaded some puppet body to postpone the game. The Cards knew all too well what the Mets were playing at and the Mets' errant decision appears to have cost them, as the Cards, behind a strong outing from starter Joel Piniero and timely hits from Pujols and Ludwick, gave Gotham's fans something to cry about for the second year in a row. For the first time since May, the Mets are not in sole possession of first place in their division after Pedro Martinez and the Mets lost to the Cardinals 3-0 Thursday night.

As both playoff hopefuls witnessed first hand, it doesn't pay to play a team vying for a consolation prize. The Cardinals appear to be swearing by the phrase, "If I'm going down, I'm taking every body with me".

A Picture Worth a Thousand Words

Surprise Surprise! 100% of Cardinal fans (I assume) from last week's poll would rather the Brewers win the divison than the Cubs. Well, the Cubs are still 2 games ahead of the Brew Crew but there's still time for the Cubs to choke! And even if they make it to the post-season, I think these tickets (pictured right) should do the rest of the work.

And no, I did not really get to record a few seconds of the game for ESPN as previously posted. That was after the game and apparently the camera crew abandoned their post. Cause if I were to get a hold of the cameras during the game, it would've been awesome blossom (extra awesome). And somebody at ESPN would've been fired.

Now, let us all just look at these already printed WS tickets for the Cubs and just laugh.

Sunday Night Baseball

My sister and I discussed how sad it would be that we'd have to wait another 6 months before being able to go watch our Cardinals play at Busch Stadium. That's half a year, people! Knowing this was our last chance at seeing our beloved Redbirds play, we made a decision to go down after the 7th inning stretch, expecting the gates to be open for all to enter...or so we thought.

Living in St. Peters, it took us 35-40ish minutes to drive downtown. We listened to the radio as the crowd at Busch gave Craig Biggio a standing ovation for his final game at Busch (most likely). We also heard Stan "the man" Musial play "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" on his harmonica (I KNOW! We MISSED IT). They were honoring Mike Shannon for 50 years (how OLD is he?) with the Cardinals organization. And of course, the Astros tied the game 1-1 in the top of the 8th. So we assumed, but mostly hoped, we'd have time to make it for some 9th inning heroics.

As we walked towards Busch, we noticed some Cardinal fans-here and there-walking in the direction away from the stadium. This horrified us, as one of our cardinal rules (pun intended) is never to leave a game unless, say, your appendix bursts. We tried to enter the gate closer to the outfield, only to have the usher/entry-nazi tell us "turn around ladies, you can't come in tonight". The funny thing is, we didn't even fake anger or belonging. Instead, my sister just said with mild disappointment in her voice, "How come?" Yes, we could've stood there for 10 minutes pretending to look for non-existant ticket stubs in our purses with fake outrage, but we just moved along, figuring another gate would be open. And of course it was.These developments don't bode well for security, but well, that's another article.

Anyways, we saw that the Astros had magically (seriously, we parked less than 5 minutes away) scored 2 more runs on a Carlos Lee 2 run HR-which explains the small exodus we saw earlier. But we were still excited to be back at our baseball house of worship.

We stood with the other standing-room-only folk and soaked it in. I have to say, though, the ushers have some strong regime going on, as we noticed quite a few seats everyone could have sat in, except that we didn't. So, what I'm trying to say is, the ushers should ease up a little bit or expect some underground insurgency to emerge, outraged at the anal rules they're implementing. We're not all Anheiser Busch employees! Let us move down into their seats when they leave or are no-shows. I'm just tell you how it is! Power to the people!

It was just like old times looking down on a familiar field drenched in lights and dotted with unformed figures. A come from behind was the only way towards victory as we were losing 3-1 but we didn't lose hope. Before the bottom of the 9th inning, we watched a video from the always hilarious Brew Crew broadcaster, Bob Uecker (just a biiiiit outside), in honor of Mike Shannon. At the end, we all applauded and gave a standing O to our "big boy" and Mike stood, waved and blew kisses to us all. Gotta love him... but really, how old IS he?

In the bottom of the 9th, it was all heroics and excitement. Brad Lidge came in to close, but an Astros win was not to be. Miguel Cairo got a base hit. Ryan Ludwick walked. Eckstein was lifted (could be his last Cardinals home game!) for a gimpy Phat Albert. But the crowd was in a festive mood and any appearance from Pujols draws standing O's these days, especially with the clutch pinch hits he's giving lately. So the hair raising ovation continued as the announcer proclaimed "#5, Albert Pujols". Pujols got an RBI single that was nearly a HR, with Ludwick advancing to third and still no outs . And yes, he's so hurt he can barely run to first, but ain't he great anyway? Rick Ankiel stepped in and won the game with a 2 run triple. The team pounced on one another and jumped for joy, all on ESPN for once. In fact, the producers let me go behind the camera to record the game for 10-20 seconds. I've got the pictures to prove it. Oh, I forgot to mention that? That's weird. I must be jaded or something.

We got a win in our final game at Busch this year and luckily I was there to see it and get my Cardinal fix. And even though it was announced the next home game would be March 31st, 2008 (weird), it's good to be a Cardinals' fan. Even now.

TOP TEN...reasons it's okay the Cardinals have been eliminated

10.)I can now give my full attention to The Office

9.)I can look forward to the Cubs losing in some embarassing fashion

8.) I won't have to regrow my finger nails after chewing them off during a Cardinals play-off game

7.) The Blues will make up for time usually devoted to watching a nightly game

6.)I can jump on the Heroes bandwagon

5.) I can write a lame "Top Ten..." list explaining why it's ok the Cards aren't in it this year

4.) I will re-learn what life is like without watching the Red Birds contend in October

3.) Ownership can't pretend like everything is okay and will face backlash if nothing is done or more Adam Kennedys are brought in.

2.) I don't have to worry about my team getting swept in any post season series

and the #1 reason it's okay the Cardinals have been eliminated...

1.) who are we kidding? I'm going to be so bored over the next month! I can't go to pep rallies? I can't purchase post season tickets!? I can't have any more kosher hot dogs or nachos!? What will I do? Who am I? What's happening!?

You Like Him! You Really Like Him!

Rick Ankiel is near and dear to your hearts.

100% of the poor suckers lovely people who actually voted on last week's poll, "Will you still root for Rick Ankiel" answered yes.

Bye Bye Birdies...

Well, Cardinal fans, it's been quite the season. There have been an oddly high number of rough patches we've gone through together. From the Carpenter downer to the Ankiel shocker to--GOD, do I need to go on or have you been living in a cave under the sea?--we've seen and heard it all. Who knows what all of the madness means. Is this the price you pay for winning the world series? I honestly don't know. But you can't deny those redbirds had every possible attack on their team morale and still managed to make it interesting until the final few weeks of the season.

But let's not pretend this last week's mounting losses didn't leave a bitter taste in our mouthes. I liken it to the feeling you get after losing a really close play-off game. Or maybe it's the feeling you get after the realization your season is over. Regardless, here's a toast to the World Champion St. Louis Cardinals. No matter what false hopes you had for this season or the disappointment that still lingers over their recent fall, you can't deny the knowledge that winning the World Series last year isn't still comforting (even in the slightest bit. Come on, don't by shy, let that hidden smile out. Bragging rights apply-even here).

When all is said and done, there will be only one team and one fan base that feels satisfied. It's all or nothing! Second place isn't comforting to anyone. Maybe in some weird twisted way, the unrelenting lack of luck has been God's way of breaking the news to us that we wouldn't win this year.

Wait, hear me out! We got our first sign opening day, when we learned Carpenter was hurt. And from then on out, the barrage of "signs" kept coming. And instead of leaving us in the dust in July, we were given the gift of opportunity to believe into September. Let's be honest, we were never going to win with this pitching staff, especially with Carp out. Besides, we can look forward to next year and the excitement of (hopefully) starting our season with the youngsters, and not Adam Kennedy, for example (I will never let that go).

I'm going to pull a Cubs line and say "there's always next year". Don't be shocked. I'm not ashamed to use it. Here's why: I believe that with all of my heart because the actual possibility and history are there. We came off a World Series win last year with 83 wins, for crying out loud. I think God has firmly established that every team but the Cubs is allowed to say that will full fledged certainty. And yes, I'm going out in style by insulting the team that handed our butts to us over the last few days. It's just that, geez, we won the World Series last year and they're still trying to break 99 years of agony. And if there's anything I'm looking forward to more than anything else, it's the excitement of possibly being able to chant "100 years! 100 years!" at a Cubs-Cards game next year. Hopefully in Wrigleyville, where they'll feel over-protective of their environment hell hole and over-come with frustration at the truth.

If you still don't feel better, just remember there are people starving in the world and you're still whining about a game. There, you should feel better. And if not? You need to move to Chicago and become a Cubs fan (couldn't help myself).

God bless and good night. I look forward to objectively, ahem, critiquing the remaining teams. Stay on the look out for Rams notes, too. It ain't pretty, but it needs to be done.

And a special Cardinals treat is in store! Their repeat hopes may have been dashed but their charisma in the locker room (hint hint) still lives. By the way, if you're still in love with the Cardinals after this season, consider yourself a true fan. Bravo. If you can't admire the way they attempted to win this (weak) division with all the death, injury and rehab that marred the players, you've got issues that run deeper than baseball.

And of course, GO CARDINALS!

"What We Lost and What We Never Had" explains it all

I'm too emotionally drained to explain how I feel about the Rick Ankiel turn of events. Am I frustrated and do I feel my his perfect comeback story is tainted? Yeah. Am I still rooting for Ankiel with all my heart? Yeah. Anyways, here's the story from deadspin.com.

What We Lost and What We Never Had

The Rick Ankiel thing, for Cardinals fans, has always been about hope. There was hope in 2000, when we thought we had discovered a 19-year-old Steve Carlton. There was hope in 2001 when we believed a young man could conquer his demons. There was hope in 2003 when we anguished as another young star went under the Tommy John knife. And, yes, there was hope in 2004, when we cheered as the prodigal son returned to rousing applause that was the sonic equivalent of a wool blanket on a cold November night. There was always an innocence to the hope; against all rational thought, we believed in Rick Ankiel because if you could believe in him, you could believe in anything. It made Cardinals fans proud of themselves; it was through our support, we believed, that Ankiel could frame his various comebacks. We would be patient; we would wait for him in a way we couldn't see other fanbases doing. It came from the very best part of us. We were so proud of ourselves. Whatever your thoughts on the jaw-dropping New York Daily News story this morning, that innocence is now replaced with ... something else.

It's worth noting -- if you'll allow us, as a commenter amusingly put it this morning, to get our Tony Snow on for a moment -- that this isn't a case of a guy taking a bunch of HGH, becoming a superhuman and pounding a ton of home runs. In 2004, Rick Ankiel was still a pitcher, recovering from Tommy John surgery and rehabbing in Memphis. (We remind, as Slate pointed out, HGH is hardly a "performance enhancer;" as they put it, steroids are like doing heroin, while HGH is more like smoking weed.) He was a guy who had gone through so much, so much, and was just trying to make it back to a semblance of what he once was, using a substance that was not banned by baseball at the time. As anyone who saw Ankiel at that time knows, the Ankiel of 2004 has no connection to the Ankiel of 2007; that's why his story has been so great, so transforming. Rick Ankiel is not hitting a ton of home runs now because he took HGH in 2004.

But yeah: Do we put that much detail into that paragraph if this is Alex Rodriguez receiving HGH, or Derrek Lee? Probably not.

Our fellow Cardinals fans will go through similar dissembling over the next few weeks -- because this isn't going away; Ankiel is going to be remembered for this much longer than Rodney Harrison ever will -- and, as Bernie Miklasz pointed out this morning, certain people will defend Ankiel no matter what, and others will think of him as a juicer until the end of time, and the truth will remain somewhere in the middle. (We certainly aren't going to stop wearing his jersey or anything.) And that, friends, is what this story is really about: It's not about HGH, it's not about the Cardinals, it's not even about Rick Ankiel. Fourteen hours ago, Rick Ankiel was what we loved about sports: His story existed in the black-white world we demand of our sports. His story was pure; it was impossible not to be happy for him.

But as much as we try to make it not so -- and boy, do we try -- the sports world is gray. Ankiel is not a monster or The Bad Guy now that we know he accepted HGH in 2004. But he's not the Guy In The White Hat Here To Save Our Games we all believed -- needed to believe-- he was either. His story is a human one. His story is gray. It always was.

That we now realize this, so vividly, is what we truly lost, at 8 a.m. this morning, picking up our newspaper as we stepped onto the subway, the world entirely different than it had been 10 minutes before, yet, of course, exactly the same.

Study: 96-Percent of Boston Sports Fans Have No Idea How Annoying They Are

I know this is 2 years old, but in light of the USAToday article featured in last week's paper that took it upon themselves to proclaim the Boston Red Sox "America's Team"....blurg.....garg......gaaaaaag....I felt this article featured in Sportspickle.com summed up the rest of the country's feelings on such a timely topic.

Study: 96-Percent of Boston Sports Fans Have No Idea How Annoying They Are

By Editor, Section Other Sports Posted on Sat Jul 09 2005 at 2:39 PM EST

[Editor's Note: SportsPickle.com always seems to nail issues right on the head. We have a healthy contingent of Boston and NY fans on this site so, of course, this story is perfect. The sad part is that this article is satire, yet could just as easily be a real story.]

According to a study set to be released today by the Center for Sports Research, a whopping 96-percent of Boston sports fans have no idea how unbelievably annoying they are to those who are not supporters of the Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics and Bruins.

"It's amazing. The vast majority of these people actually think that they behave just as any other fans do, and that people who have a problem with them are simply jealous," said the study's director, Dr. Michael Kreager, a Princeton sociologist. "When in fact, almost all Boston fans have become obnoxious Massholes of the highest order."

Due to an overwhelming inferiority complex stemming from decades of playing second fiddle to New York, the study found that Boston fans are woefully lacking in knowledge of how to respectfully conduct themselves when one of their teams actually wins. But worse, they revel in their boorish behavior and seem to find more enjoyment in flaunting their good fortune in the faces of others than they do in sincerely celebrating and relishing their teams' achievements.

"The media has only contributed to this problem," said Dr. Kreager. "By harping on the years and years the Red Sox went without a championship as though it was some sort of national tragedy, Boston fans actually started to believe they were more important than fans from other cities and therefore deserved to win more. When in fact, all they were was fans of a crappy franchise."

And when the Red Sox finally won last year - on the heels of two Patriots championships that were then followed by another in February - it created a vicious cocktail that made even the most subdued and casual Boston sports fan into an obnoxious, drunken meathead, unbearably annoying to anyone with different rooting interests.

"I wanted to be happy for these people when the Patriots won, and especially when the Red Sox finally got a World Series, but I found it impossible," said Dan Miller, a Seattle native who now lives outside Boston. "Before I could even congratulate any of my friends or acquaintances they got up in my face, yelling and screaming and saying how my favorite teams suck, or leaving messages on my cell phone gloating about it. So instead of being a mild supporter of Boston teams, now I hate them with every fiber of my being. Same with most of their fans."

The study also found that some 89 percent of Boston fans believe they are the most knowledgeable fan base in the world, when in reality they are no more savvy than any other.

"We found this to be most evident in relation to the Patriots," said Dr. Kreager. "Until they made the Super Bowl in 1997, most New Englanders barely paid attention to football, but now - thanks to the Patriots winning three of the past four years - they seem to believe they invented the game or something and that their city is the epitome of all things football. Of course, once the Patriots inevitably start struggling some day, we expect most of their fans to ignore them again."

The only saving grace for Boston fans - or perhaps more for people who come into regular contact with them - is that the Celtics and Bruins continue to suck. But even in mediocrity, the Masshole-ishness finds a way to shine through.

"I personally found it hilarious that the Celtics managed to squeak into the playoffs this year and lots of Boston fans actually thought they had a legitimate shot of going to the Finals," said Dr. Kreager. "Right, with Paul Pierce, Antoine Walker and Ricky Davis - not to mention Danny Ainge in the front office - you're really a force to be reckoned with. And, of course, now that the Celtics draft has received high marks, they're all guaranteeing a few championships by the end of the decade. I usually try to step back and stay completely objective when I'm studying a group of people, but I have to say - these people are freaking morons. Absolutely unbearable."

Predictably, the ever-belligerent and cantankerous Boston fans do not agree with the study's findings.

"That is wicked stupid. People are just jealous. What - did some Yankees fan make up that study? Probably, `cause the Yankees suck!" said Tommy Reilly, a 27-year old Boston bartender. "Yeah, that's right. You heard me. The Yankees suck!"

The Beginning of the End or...?

The Start of something new? Are play-offs in the picture again?

The Cardinals' push for the play-offs can be described as nothing short of a miracle. Everything that can go wrong, has gone wrong. Let's see...

1. A teammate's death during the season
2. Serious injury to players integral to the team's success
3. career lows and uncharacteristic sloppiness from many of the vets
4. substance abuse problems and rehab
5. arrest and DUI
6. Road trip losses that spelled doom
7. Infighting that leaked to the media

Oh, the list could go on and on...and yet, here are the Cards: 2, that's two...t-w-o games out of first place! If somebody doesn't develop a script for this season soon(including Ankiel's return and all, of course), then count myself willing to develop one. And this picture would make lots of money. Especially if the story includes a play-off appearance.

This is exactly the reason fans obsess over sports. It's the stories and the glories and the something else that ends in "ories". It's winners and whiners, the beloved and be-hated, heroes and villains-all on the same field-just as God meant it to be (who needs to watch Batman? ok, well, I do. "Wait'll they get a load of me!" AH! LOVE IT. But anyways...) The polarizing figures make it easy to 'get', and the succulent storylines make the season easy to devour. With 35 games to be played in 34 days-that's right, no more days off, yowza- the Cardinals biggest test is about to take place. And I can't wait.

Is it really almost September?

Albert Pujols: Superman in the Making?

Pssst.Here's secret video of Albert Pujols attempting to fly(in vain). Although he's been able to produce a start to his major league that compares to, if not bests,the greats, there's no word on whether he'll achieve the monikor of "flying man" anytime soon. ahahaha...ha...Aha..aha..ahem...*cough. Ah.

Things to ponder...

• What would you rather be? Michael Vick's dog or Michael Jackson's child?

• Who would you rather listen to for 8 hours straight? Curt Schilling or George W. Bush?

• What would you rather sing in the rain? "I'm singin' in the Rain" or "Umbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh"?

• Who'd you rather have over for dinner? Ryan Seacrest or Jeffrey Dahmer? (think carefully)

• Where would you rather be when your team makes it to the big one? Game 7 of the WS or the Superbowl?

• If you could sucker punch one of these people, who would you choose? (think of initial instinct and go with it) Nancy Grace or Glenn Beck? And yes, you can only choose one.

• Whose plate would you rather eat off of? Jaba the Hutt or that unibrowed, fat guy who plays Borat's "director" in Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhtan?

• What movie would you rather steal a scene in? Old School or The 40 Year Old Virgin?

Now, ponder my little grasshoppers. Some have right answers. And some... are just plain ol' wrong. Oh, and as for the Seacrest/Dahmer question? The nod goes to Dahmer.

That Dude Everyone Likes

Everybody knows some person that every one likes. These revered human beings are found every where, from your inner circle to that character on tv. Here are the criteria for determining if someone fits the "Everyone likes me" mold.

1. Someone's always defending their mishaps.
2. The person who critiques Mr./Miss Everyone Likes Me eventually retracts their statement
3. Everyone listens intently to what Mr./Miss Everyone Likes Me has to say.
4. Everyone's their biggest cheerleader.
5. It is possible for them to reach cult status.
6. If someone mentions how much they enjoy Mr./Mrs. Everyone Likes Me's company or existance, everyone else must chime in or face possible exile. The conversation usually goes something like this:

In the right Scenario...

John Doe: Bob really is a great guy.

Jane Doe: Yeah, Bob is really great. He just has such a great laugh.

John Doe: Yeah and you can't ever get mad at Bob, he's just so great.

Jane Doe: Yeah, great!

In the wrong Scenario...

John Doe: Bob is really a great guy.

Jane Doe: (silence)

John Doe: (continuing)...yeah, Bob just has such a great laugh.

Jane Doe: Really? Bob? I mean, it's okay. But great?

John Doe: You don't like Bob's laugh? But I was just talking to Julie Doe the other day and she said it was great too...

Jane Doe: (with sarcasm) Well, if Julie says it's great, it must be.

John Doe: Really? You don't like Bob's smile? What did Bob ever do to you?

John and Jane share awkward silence. Friendship is strained. Yes. This can happen to you.

So the next time Mr./Miss Everyone Likes Me is brought up, take the time to explain how much they mean to you. It may be the way they tell their funny jokes. Or it may be the way they give everyone you know a nickname which brings your circle closer together. Either way, they can do no wrong. Even when they do something wrong. Because everyone likes them. Including you. It's just in their genes.

Exhibit A: So Taguchi of the St. Louis Cardinals. Dare to speak ill of him only if you are prepared for the barrage of defendants who come strolling your way on his behalf . For every So Taguchi insulter, there are 20 more Taguchi loyalists who are ready to fire at will. You have been warned.

Watch So Taguchi praise a TrueSleeper. (I have a feeling that even if he were selling his mother, we'd all praise the courage it takes to sell his own mother). Or watch him attempt to speak English and charm everyone with his dorky laugh.

But seriously, Taguchi's laugh is great! (This is where you agree and chime in on how great it is).

Historical Bird Butt Kicking

In honor of the Texas Rangers thrashing, scratch that, beat down of the Baltimore Orioles, 30-3, in the first game of their double header, I present to you the only other rival to that feat. A Walker Texas Ranger clip. No, this one does not show Chuck Norris (although all of those are magnificently magnificent as well)but this does feature a bird getting it's ass kicked. Close enough.

"The stuff of legend"

Peter Gammons, writing a poetic piece for ESPN.com's The Insider and showing why he's a hall of fame writer.

"The stuff of legend"

posted: Monday, August 20, 2007

It doesn't matter if he ends up closer to Willie Smith than either Babe Ruth or Smokey Joe Wood. He doesn't worry about people he's never heard of or ghosts of baseball past that he can't fathom. "I only look forward," says Rick Ankiel. "I am who I am."

We have no way of predicting what Ankiel will become, not after fewer career plate appearances than 20 year olds in the South Atlantic League, or, through Monday, 31 career major league at-bats. Tony La Russa thinks he will eventually hit .275 to .300 with 35 to 40-something home runs, and Lou Piniella says "anyone with bat speed that serious can be really special."

It does no good to look too far forward, or for him to go back. What is important is that Rick Ankiel, at 27 years old, is doing something most everyone else in the game deems "unimaginable." Derek Lowe said it. So did Albert Pujols. "If someone had told me this story would happen," says Kerry Wood, "I'd laugh at them."

Ankiel hit two home runs and made a saving catch in one game, and he knew that he'd see video of his 2000 postseason implosion. When his remarkable story hit The Show, he wasn't surprised that his father's demons were dragged out for one more lap. "I expect it by now," he says. "I don't get upset by that stuff. It's the past. I only look forward."

What this man has endured and overcome is victory over a nightmare that lies somewhere deep within the brain of everyone who pitches in the big leagues. It isn't a quick fast-forward from the 2000 playoffs to four home runs in his first 31 at-bats as a Cardinal outfielder. It's been seven years of trips to the back fields of the Jupiter complex, elbow and shoulder operations.

We're not talking about just some guy. Ankiel was, arguably, among the handful of best young pitchers of this generation. In the summer in which he turned 21, he went 11-7 in 175 innings, allowed 137 hits and struck out 194 batters. Then came the Camus moments (11 walks, nine wild pitches, four innings) in the playoffs.

I remember that March day in 2005, when I was walking around the Cardinals' complex and spotted Ankiel down on a lower field, a solitary player with three coaches. I knew it had come back, as the smartest of sports psychologists tells you it usually does. I took off across the complex, hoping he didn't see me and think I was watching his misery, because he deserved better.

That afternoon, Ankiel told La Russa and Walt Jocketty that was it. He was done pitching. Jocketty, ever supportive, told him to think about becoming an outfielder. Ankiel went home, plopped down, and now says he "felt as if the weight of the world were off [his] shoulders." The next day, he reported to the Jupiter complex as an outfielder -- beginning the next step program. He played at Springfield and Quad Cities. Had 321 at-bats and hit 21 homers. "He could always hit," says John DiPuglia, the scout who signed him. "We took him to Busch Stadium, and he hits one ball after another into the upper deck."

Former All-Star reliever and Cardinals roving pitching coach Bill Campbell remembers throwing to Ankiel on a pitching rehab. "I was amazed at where he hit balls," says Campbell. Asked if he wish he'd started out in professional baseball as an outfielder, Ankiel says, "That's not really fair. The Cardinals signed me as a pitcher."

Does he ever wish he could roll back his life on videotape and go back on the mound in the 2000 playoffs?

"No," says Ankiel. "I don't go back."

Fast-forward to February, 2006. Ankiel was taking batting practice in Jupiter. He came out of the cage and said, "This is the happiest I've felt in professional baseball." Two days later, in the Cardinals' first intrasquad game, Ankiel tore up his knee, and ended up being out for the season.

"Sure," he says, "there was a stretch where I thought it wasn't meant to be. But I wanted to do the rehab and see where I was. As it turned out, it was something of a blessing. I needed to get bigger and stronger asnd go from a pitcher's body to a player's body to hold up for the season. So I used that as a motivating factor."

He was asked if he felt any self-pity. "No," Ankiel replied. "I had a lot of good fortune. I know a lot of people who weren't lucky like me."

This is not about luck. It's about genes and character. He went to Triple-A Memphis this spring at 27 and led the Pacific Coast League in homers with 32 when he was recalled. His 389 at-bats were a career high, and while his 25-to-90 walk-to-strikeout ratio indicated how much he has to learn, he was still having a monster home run season.

"Every day, I learn something about seeing pitches and hitting,"Ankiel says. "I understand I have a lot to learn, but I can only learn from at-bats and seeing balls come out of pitchers' hands."

Few of us can comprehend the complex public humiliation that Ankiel experienced. Few, if any, Hall of Fame players could have put it all aside and do what Ankiel has done to get back in such a short time by our clocks that seem like generations to him.

Tip your hat to Rick's mother, to his wife Lory, to those who stood beside him. In all this, his privacy was violated, his natural athleticism turned inward. His life was Camus' "The Stranger," and the brilliant writer summed up Ankiel's story: "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me lies an invincible summer."

Rick Ankiel's eventual place on the Baseball Immortals page doesn't matter now. What he has done matters, an accomplishment that only the warped can minimize. Right now, I don't care if he is Babe Ruth or Clint Hartung. What I do care about is the fact that this man overcame demons and dreams and pain few have ever experienced.

Every time I look at Rick Ankiel, I think he is a better man than me.