Sunday, November 25, 2007

Mizzou-RAH: Chase Daniel Don't Chase NObody!

Well, I guess until that game against Oklahoma next week, and then hopefully the National Championship! Mizzou-RAH!

I watched the game with my other partna in crime, Khomyster. You know, the one who can't read "indicted". Haha. Makes me smile every time. We understand there's a possibility the public will not understand our game-time mannerisms, so sometimes we look for places to watch games without a crowd. It's become an unintentional habit....and it's probably for the best. Case in point, during the game, after Mizzou scored the first touchdown, we actually got up and made up an impromptu football dance and chant. It goes like this...

One of us says, "Who loves football?" and the other answers, "I love football!" and then we switch roles and the other asks "Who loves football?" and is responded with, you guessed it, "I love football!" and then we keep chanting, "we love football! We love football!" as we frolic in a circle, bouncing to the imaginary beat of the song in our heads.

I say this with the full awareness that this is the most immasculate and non-football move we could make as we watch football. But, we're women. What do we know? (kho and Badia joke. Take it in stride) Now, if I could only force myself to go into the kitchen and make myself a sandwich...

It was fun to listen to the local radio people talking about the game. They sounded so excited and kept repeating, "Would anyone have thought in August that Mizzou would be playing Kansas for the #1 spot in the country and possibly playing the week after for the National Championship?" and that got me pumped. And then I got even more pumped as ABC switched from "Southern Living" (in response to your "huh?". I'm shaking my head and saying, "I dunno. Just let it be") to the pre-game stuff. Then we watched the game with pizza and the pure energy of 20-something women who sing "we love football! we love football!"

By the way, even though I'm not attached to Mizzou like I am to any pro STL team, I'm sick of seeing highlights or hearing about Mizzou's choke jobs. I was hoping during those tense final two minutes I wouldn't see another in the making. College sports is crazy like that. They can flip on you in the span of whatever like a crazy backstabbing lover! It's just crazy. I was going insane with all the penalty calls Mizzou was getting. I mean, yes, some were warranted, but Mizzou wasn't getting the same pass interference calls to go their way! And then those damn lousy holding and false start penalties! They drove me insane. All they did was remind me of how much I hate Alex Barron (STL Rams). Google "Alex Barron and False Starts" and I'm sure there'll be a whole site devoted to his knack for falsely starting. I bet you there's a book called, "Alex Barron and the Art of Falsely Starting; By Alex Barron. Illustrations also by Alex Barron".

Anyways, thank goodness the game pretty much ended in a safety after KU's QB got sacked! Face to the ground, baby! I loved the image of Todd Reesing trying to pick the mud/grass out of his helmet. It was so demeaning. Just like this loss.

Ah sports, always poetic. Always. Who loves football? I love football! We love football!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thank you, Turkey Day

OOF, it's Thanksgiving and I'm stuffed. Stuffed like a Turkey on Thanksgiving, some might say...thank you, I'll be here all night!

We went through this whole ordeal of having to wait for everyone to come home before we could actually eat. I held off until about 7 pm. Then I couldn't wait any longer. I started to put side items on my plate and scarf down when the door bell rang. Our guests had finally arrived and I was just about to bite into the corn on the cob.

But it all went well. Of course there was arguing-over the pumpkin pie- and of course there were left overs. But arguing with your family and having leftovers are staples of the Thanksgiving holiday, are they not? Trying to persuade our mother to keep the only working television on the football games ("I'm tired, let me just see this" she argued, as a cheesey arabic soap opera took the place of the Cowboys manhandling the Jets.) was too taxing. Especially when you're hungry. There were too many battles. Like over what should or shouldn't be cooked all day. and whether or not our house needed the heat on (there are snow flurries outside...and mom's TOO HOT!?)

But I still feel good. It was Thanksgiving. My day. No, not my birthday, but better, a day solely revolved around eating. A day everyone can enjoy because we all get a little bit of something we like. That's my idea of celebration. If your birthday is winning an MVP award, Thanksgiving is the World Series. And the home team always wins on Thanksgiving.

I'm thankful the Rams have won two weeks in a row. And I'm thankful that the Cardinals 2007 season is over. That went all wrong. We needed to start fresh. I'm thankful the Blues, who still have a bit to work on with all their youngsters, are making every game exciting or at least make me believe we can win on any given night.

I loved sitting with my family in the kitchen and telling stories that made our stomaches ache from laughter-and from being too full. And did I mention leftovers? Well, excuse me while I go work on that some more, then lie down and think of other things to be thankful for. Like, not being a Cubs fan! There, got one in! GOODNIGHT!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Hanging Out at a Hell Hole!

According to some article that I skimmed through, working at a coffee shop (or in the restaurant industry in general) is one of the worst jobs to have in America because the pay is low and the average employee receives no benefits. Sounds about right (says the girl who makes shawirma sandwiches in bitterness.)

So, in honor of all the poor souls who deal with this bullshit, I'm at Starbucks right now analyzing the environment around me, maybe just to show my solidarity with the ones behind the counter. I'm sure buying a coffee and sitting at my laptop typing away as I listen to last year's American Idol winner Jordin Sparks' album isn't really doing anything. Yeah, that's true. But I needed a change of scenary.

Nothing interesting has happened so far. Maybe they're just so bored too. That has to kill you, asking what kind of coffee somebody wants every five minutes and then having to make it. Sort of like having to make a sandwich every five minutes. Hmmm.

I like this Jordin Sparks album already. I'm only two songs deep but the first was this catchy song they've started playing on the radio called "tattoo". And the second was a duet with Chris Brown. I wouldn't necessarily buy the album, but I wouldn't change the station if her songs were on.

I've also decided I like the colors starbucks is decorated in. Maybe my house will be painted like Starbucks some day. It could happen.

Oh, I have a bit of baseball news! Ok, so I read some rumor/report/whatever online about the Mets talking to David Eckstein about possibly playing for them at second base. Interesting. I don't know how I feel about Eckstein right now. I think he's a good catalyst for making things happen when he plays well, but couldn't that be said for anybody. He's not a quitter, that's always a plus. He's not Adam Kennedy. That's always good. I'm not sure how much he has in him and how much money he wants to make. I'm sure if someone good frees up, I'd prefer them anyway. I have nothing against the little guy, we might just need a youngin' who stays healthy.

Oh, I also found out the Cardinals are trying to hire a new bat boy! Remember, because Josh-the regular bat boy- has finally relinquished this honored position. The requirements are having to be a good student in school, available for all the games and travelling, and being at least 16 years old. It never said you actually have to be a "boy". Which got me wondering-what if I applied for the position. I went through the motions in my head. I imagined being in the locker room or handing them their bats or getting new gloves for them. It's not really a glamorous position. I'm sure it would weird them out having a 23 year old woman running back and forth fetching their items. Or maybe those freaks would like it, I dunno. I've decided the Cardinals did not insist the job is for a "boy" under the requirements cause I could sue them. But they're not fooling me, a girl would never be hired. Also, that's not a job I've been pining after. Oh well. It was fun imagining making fun of the guys behind their backs anyway. I could've had the best blogs ev-er.

Wow. Nothing is happening here. This is like some calm ass hell hole.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Some Things I know to Be True

  • The Patriots are Evil: If it's not the secret cameras and sinister spying, it's the way somebody sold their soul (probably Belichick) to help them become the dominant and demonic team they are. They scored 56 on the Bills today. I'm not saying that's impossible. I'm saying, with the way Belichick dresses on the sidelines and the way Thomas Bradius Maximus impregnates (building an evil army?) and dates (is Giselle's womb next?), they can't be trusted. I'm surprised they didn't score 666 today. EVIL, I tell you.

  • The Rams Must've Left a Load in New Orleans: Cause they aren't feeling as crappy as they were last week. Must be that "we just won a game" feeling. Winning one has them setting higher standards...well, standards anyway... for themselves. They went from having a camera shot of a player barely containing his joy and shock at winning last week (appearing to hide his smile behind his jersey like a five year old would)- to expecting major disappointment if they let today's game get away. They didn't. Yay winning streak. What? I can say that now.

  • Barry Bonds is going to have a bad year: I know that's the most obvious statement ever, but I told you there were some things I knew to be true. This is one of them. Also, my cousin passed by a news stand yesterday, stopped in her tracks, bent closer and, reading the headline out loud, said, "Barry Bonds is IndiCted!" (pronouncing the silent C). I just pointed and laughed at her for a minute and a half. That's what you do in those situations. Trust me.

  • An owl, or a bird that sounds like an owl, lives around our house: I have been hearing it over the last two nights. Here's the evidence I'm not crazy. A.) I've always been an insomniac, so I know what noises to expect at night. An owl in our neighborhood is not one of them. B.) It's hooting. C.) Why would I say an owl lives outside our house. I don't need that kind of attention.

  • Ella Fitzgerald is flippin' awesome:If her voice were a drink, it would be velvety chocolate cocoa on a cold, rainy day by the fireplace. And I would drink it up, man.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

A Rift in the Family (and something about some guy in NY)

Uh oh, Scotty and Big Daddy Tony can't get over the fight that left Scotty's ego with a booboo as a consequence of the '06 NLCS in which LaRussa sat out Rolen. Wow. Get...over...it. It worked out for the best at the time. Scott Speizio, a fill in for Rolen, hit the game tying R.B.I.s in that series shifting second game and when Rolen came back to play, he played better than he had all year. I wish Scotty would look in the mirror and repeat the following, "I play for a city that loves me and adores baseball, I now have a WS ring and I'm making 36 million dollars over the next three years". There...that should do the trick. Now go work on fixing your bum shoulder, goddamnit, and play baseball. And if you can't handle that, we don't want you. Cause that's how we roll, biatch. (That-and we still have Pujols)

Oh, and of course, the biggest news of the day is Alex Rodriguez resigning with the Yankees for 10 years and $275 million buckaroos. Well, I would've rather overpaid for some solid pitching, but that's just me. I guess we'll get to see a never ending re-run of "A-Rod in Gotham" over the next decade. Gee whiz. How grand.

WILL HIS WIFE SEND US TRASH TALKIN' MESSAGES ON HER T-SHIRTS AGAIN? WILL HE GET MORE PICTURES TAKEN OF HIM GALAVANTING WITH STRIPPERS!?!?! WILL HE EVER HIT IN THE PLAY-OFFS EVER AGAIN!? TUNE IN AT THE SAME BAT TIME...SAME BAT CHANNEL!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

[Insert your name] has an STD! Ewww!

You may or may not have an STD. That is irrelevant.

What is relevant? The Cardinals are being sued by the mother of a high school student who attended a K.C. Royals-St. Louis Cardinals game in 2006 with her classmates, I believe under school supervision. Apparently, with the advantageous "send your text message to the scoreboard for all to see" thing they have going on at Busch, a fellow classmate took the opportunity to text message that said-girl, now under the alias of A.B., ..."has an STD. Ewwww!" Now, as contagious as this story is starting to become-and I mean, it's spreading in all news outlets- I'm just going to leave it at that. I don't wanna catch whatever A.B. has, no matter how little truth there is to that rumor or how impossible it is to catch it online. Moral of the story? Sometimes paying that $1.99 is worth it.

Wait, that's not the moral?

This does excite me about attending future games at Busch. I always wondered if I could send some crazy text to the scoreboard but worried it wouldn't go through. Now I feel good about my chances.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

I Was Born Before 1995...and I'll Prove It!

So I was stalled for things to talk about this week. Life isn’t very interesting, well, at least, anything I can talk about isn’t very interesting. I’m listening to my “iTunes” radio station. There’s a bunch of different musical categories and streams coming from everywhere, including those for international music. I was trying to get my hands on some good ole Arabic music but some weird techno music is coming out of the Arabic Stream instead. It’s weird and irksome, considering I despise techno music, but what’re you gonna do? Well, if you’re me, you tune into some college radio station, get annoyed by it, then you move onto Indie-Pop-Rock. Weird combo, I know. I can’t help it.

Anyways, I’m too exhausted to complain about players and coaches not voting for Yadier Molina, or Albert Pujols for that matter, to receive gold gloves. What’re they thinking? I don’t really know. I’m sure I could expend some energy and write up a bunch of figures and stats that would obviously support why these players’ should have been rewarded. I thought a gold glove for Molina was in the bag, considering he completely shut down the opposition’s running game, even against the speedy superstars like Jose Reyes and Hanley Ramirez. In fact, I believe base stealer’s attempts were less than 50% successful against Molina. I’m too lazy to check, just take my word for it. I’m so sick of these deserving players getting robbed that I’m not even enthused enough to check right now. I promise I’ll check later. But today, I thought we should get to know each other better.

I’m here for fun and I’m sure there’s always room for you to get to know me better through a survey, n’est pas? That’s French for, “no?” or “right?” or “eh?” I bet you didn’t know I could speak French. See? A lot to learn about me. This survey is cleverly called “Born before ‘95” because if you were born before 1995, apparently you can answer all the questions with ease. How convenient for me. There is a twist. I spent 1993-1998 living in a third world country. So…this should be fun.

Born Before ‘95

Which spice girl did you like? I thought Posh Spice was the prettiest, so I liked her best. That was my only reason. Right now? Her looks have worn off on me. No more charm.

Backstreet Boys or N*Sync? Hey, if you’re cool, N*Sync. But I have to say, I didn’t think they were cool until they sang “Gone” and by that point, we were all closet fans. So don’t judge me.

Did you watch S Club 7? No. I don’t even understand what this is. The name rings a bell, but this must be when I was in a third world country. Shit happens.

What was your favorite, Sandlot or Little Rascals? Sandlot. Little Rascals was pathetic. I prefer the baseball movies anyway.

Did you ever have light up sneakers? I was never that cool. Or lucky. I did have pumps! Does that make me cool enough for you?

Cinderella or Snow White? Cinderella all the way. Snow White sounds like she sucks on helium balloons all the time. Not cool, man, not cool.

What was your favorite holiday? Thanksgiving. Cause we would actually celebrate that one (we’re Muslims). I love seeing family, and I love eating, hence, I like Thanksgiving. Halloween would've been first except for the fact that my mom stuck me in the same traditional Arabic dress each year and I paraded around as a "gypsy". Damnit.

Did you ever try to stay up on Christmas just so you could see santa? No, as a Muslim, my parents never considered the notion of letting me believe in Santa Claus. As a child, I inwardly laughed at my friends’ belief in the jolly, fat guy. Outwardly, I nodded and smiled at their stories.

You ever watch Bill Nye the Science Guy? Hell to the yeah! AND it was WHILE I was in Palestine! That’s the reach of Bill Nye, my friends.

What grade did you like the best? I distinctly remembering declaring, as a first grader, “I love school. I’ll never hate school” and my brothers and sister warning me that wasn’t true. They were so wise. What happened? Second Grade and Miss Dueser, that's what. So anyways, that must mean first grade.

Ninja Turtles or Power Rangers? I can’t even believe this is a question. Power Rangers have nothing….NOTHING... on the Ninja Turtles. How despicable.

What Power Ranger were you? I think I just threw up in my mouth, a little bit.

Did you ever own a Chinese jump rope? no. I didn't own a lot of things. I chose my battles, like convincing my mom to get me happy meals when the siblings weren't around.

What was your favorite thing to eat? Fried Chicken, sometimes pizza. I’m surprised I was never morbidly obese.

What was your favorite color? I’ve stuck with blue for a while now. I think it was a good call.

Did you prefer, “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego” or “Where’s Waldo?” ohhh, toughie. I think I’ll never get sick of Where’s Waldo. But when “Where in the World…” was good, it was good.

Do you ever miss being a little kid? God, yes. I miss riding my bike in the summer, not having to worry about work or any responsibilities, swimming in Jenny Steward's kiddy pool, telling my younger brother that elves carved a secret door in the tree across our street (and loving that he believed me. Fool.), my friends and I choosing between A.C. Slater and Zack Morris to be our pretend husbands in a game of house…I miss it all.

What was your first pet’s name? Kitty/Friday (With the amount of "Kittys'" we've had since, it could also be called Kitty 1.)

Who was your best friend in kindergarten? Jenny Steward/ Dalal Safi

Are you still friends with the person you were best friends with? Still best friends with Dalal. I’ve lost touch with Jenny but I wanna reach her again. We graduated together. Okay, now I’m sad.

How many times have you switched schools including preschool? Before 1995? Three times. But I was checking through high school graduation in my head and it was 5 all together. Weird. See, that’s what living in two countries will do to you.

What did you want to be when you grew up? A nurse or artist...

What was your all time favorite movie? I think it was Batman or Cinderella. I know, the difference is palpable.

Which did you like ‘Are You Afraid Of The Dark’ or ‘AHH! Real Monsters? Are You Afraid of the Dark. What’s Real Monsters? No idea.

Did you watch Rocko’s Modern Life? No. But that sounds familiar.

Did you collect pogs? No.

Who was your favorite character in Doug? Doug. Or his dog. I forget.

Did you like War Heads? No. Is that a game or the candy. While we're on the topic of candy, I loved that Big League Chew gum. Still love it. Good stuff.

Favorite rugrat? Chucky at first, but that kid annoys the crap outta me now. Tommy was cool from the get go. But I CAN do an impression of Chucky.

Well, apparently these are the questions that only people born before 1995 can answer. Too bad for you poor suckas born post ’95. You obviously missed out.

Like everyone else, I am going to die. But the words – the words live on
for as long as there are readers to see them, audiences to hear them. It is
immortality by proxy. It is not really a bad deal, all things considered.
-J. Michael Straczynski

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