What I do care about are the Cards, but they're toying with my emotions. On the one hand I know they're (at this point) 7 games out. So they're winning just enough to make me believe, even in the slightest possible amount. That's all I need to get my hopes up. On the other hand, they lose games like yesterday (12-2) to the Brewers and make me want to throw up and pull the covers over my head. Then there's the double header today and they come from behind in one game and play hard, sound winning baseball in the other. Then I feel good again. I guess this comes with the territory. I have to deal with caring too much.
For example, I really cared whether or not Harry Potter would die. I didn't want him to, but needed to know as soon as Badia-ly possible.So I holed myself up in my room for 24 hours to read the book and find out the outcome of this literary phenomenon I've invested 10 years of my life obsessing over. But alas, I won't ruin it for you. I'm not one of those people. I'll just say that, in my opinion, Rowling is a genius and HP7 is a classic. In time, I'll give my review. I just can't now because I care too much about the right of every HP fan to read the ending for themselves. I know. The "caring" can be overwhelming. It can be a blessing... and as baseball sometimes proves, a curse.
But the passion that accompanies caring makes life all the more worthwhile. I'd hate the thought of life without Harry Potter or the Cardinals. I almost can't remember life before either. The Cardinals always seemed to be there, even when...gasp...I didn't care as a child. And try as I might, my attempt at remembering life before Harry Potter leaves me with a fruitless explanation. In retrospect, life before the Potter books simply seems a total waste of Potter time.
There's a special place reserved in my heart for enticing reads and equally enticing games. In that sense, even when the Cards lose, it's a win-win situation. It's because of that, as a baseball fan in love with her team, even as they struggle in contrast to the immediate years preceding this one, I still feel blessed to watch them play. I feel the urgent need to know the score at the end of the day, even if something else in my life takes over. And while non-fans and casual fans feel sorry for a gal whose day gets a little gloomier after a heartbreaking loss, this gal returns the pity.
For it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. But I won't lie. It's always (always) better to have loved and won.
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