Pie's Injury Microcosm of Cubs' Century

Felix Pie of the Chicago Cubs, a walking punch line in and of themselves, has already given Cardinal Nation a generous gift in the department of mockery to enjoy for the remainder of the season. The Cubs official website posted a story listing the number of injuries that have befallen the team thus far. But it was Pie's injury that has everyone talking,

"The Cubs have had a variety of injuries this spring. So far, infielder Mark DeRosa was hospitalized with an irregular heartbeat, pitcher Jose Ascanio had a bruised face after getting punched in a robbery attempt, and outfielder Felix Pie missed a couple of days early because of a twisted testicle. Third baseman Aramis Ramirez remains sidelined with a sore right shoulder."

Yes, our good ol' rivals feel they haven't been charitable enough in the business of handing us Cub Jokes, our little philanthropists also have a player who got injured by way of a twisted testicle. Quite a ballsy (a-thank you) move on their part to post that over-the-top but nonetheless appreciated bit of information.

How he twisted said-testicle is unknown. How you acquire a twisted testicle, I know not. And although I am not a possessor of that bodily...um...component, I can assure you it hurt badly. Come on, we all know twisting one's ball (?) ain't fun business. "Twist" is never fun unless it precedes "shout".

Fear not! It seems he will survive the injury, but not the endless teasing that is sure to follow at every ballpark. Don't get teste, Cubs fans. You'd do the same.

And thank you God.