TOPICana

Baseball Dear Joel Pineiro, I am not happy with you totally bitching at The Secret Weapon through the media. Let's spell this out for you...He is The Secret Weapon. He is beloved. You are not. Therefore, you are not allowed to complain to the media. You're kind of a punk.

Dear Skip Schumaker, I really, really hope second base works out for you. You're kind of awesome. **hearts in eyes**

My Immune System I have now been sick for 10 days. I have officially titled these last 10 days as The Sickness of '09. I honestly don't know what's happening. I've gone from a virus to a cold to a lost voice to a worse cold to the coughs. Why is this happening? Why won't it go away? Come on immune system! Get your act together!

Babies I met my cousin's new daugher and she is absolutely adorable. I seriously miss her and I only met her once. Talk about a good first impression.

Laziness

I wish I wasn't too lazy to get up 10 minutes earlier so I could go to Quick Trip at 6:30 am and buy some of their delicious and very affordable coffee. I've grown a liking to their Caramel Machiatto with pumps of butter pecan. Man, that's awesome. Darn you, laziness! Darn you!

Waiting... too long:I finally got an alarm clock. Why did I wait so long to get this? Bad judgement on my part for going with my cell phone's alarm for the last 8 years instead of just investing in a nice alarm clock like I should have. I like waking up to Mike and Mike in the morning on ESPN radio, or to NPR. This is how it was meant to be.

the right amount of time:I finally got a calendar. I knew if I was patient enough I could get the cheapest possible calendar. How much did I get it for? $1. Yes. High five to myself. And it's a "30 Roc" calendar-not a kitten or dog calendar. Double high five.

Television Congratulations television. You're back on my good list. For a while there, I just didn't watch television. If I watched anything, it was DVDs. But thanks to an end to that strike and some awesome shows having a good year, I am back on the television bandwagon. Here's my TV Guide for you. It's very simple and wonderful, but addictive. Doctors insist that a healthy dose of the following shows will help lower your cholestrol and reduce stress. However, side effects may include laughing, happiness, a feeling of immortality, and flying.

If you experience an erection lasting longer than 8 hours, please call a doctor.

Monday: Heroes. The Daily Show.

Tuesday: American Idol. How I Met Your Mother. The Daily Show.

Wednesday: American Idol. Lost. The Real World. The Daily Show.

Thursday: The Office. 30 Roc. The Daily Show.

Friday: Starting tomorrow night...finally...Real Time with Bill Maher.

This Sunday, enjoy the wonderfully girly/gay Oscars. I'm leaning towards it being gay-ish since Hugh Jackman is hosting. Maybe it feels gay (wow. I just said "maybe it feels gay") because he's already hosted the Tony's-the ultimate gayfest...well, second to the gay pride parade...anyways...I'm excited. I love the fancy dresses and emotional acceptance speeches. And this year we've got a special treat! Jen and Angelina in the same room with television cameras! Yes! Drama! Love it!