Top Ten Reasons You'd Probably Play the Bad Guy on TV

The more I watch TV, the more I realize that, should I play the bad guy, no story I was involved in would have a plot. I wouldn't explain why anything was happening to the good guys, I'd simply get rid of them. Do you ever have the inclination to play the bad guy? Here are the Top Ten Reasons You'd Probably Play the Bad Guy on TV...

10.)Planning and plotting sounds like a fun job. You generally think of yourself as a creative person and this highlights that.

9.) Running away to Mexico does not sound like a crazy idea. Actually, it sounds like a good vacation. You wouldn't have to stay there forever, which is where 'planning and plotting' your way out of there would come in handy.

8.) The good guys annoy you. The bad guys do too, but only cause they won't do the job right.

7.) You've laughed maniacally for over a minute, just to see how it would sound. And it sounded pretty much how you've imagined. Um, maniacal.

6.) You secretly wonder what it would be like to rob a bank, lie to a cop, or pull money from somewhere using your computer like one of those movie-hackers (i.e. Office Space). You'd probably do something like pull a tenth of a penny from 80 million sources. That sounds complicated enough. Good planning and plotting should fit here as well.

5.)You want to leave clues to the cops with words made out of letters cut from different magazine articles. I mean, who doesn't? I'd probably give my next birthday card to someone with a note like that.

4.) You'd like to mock a cop and tell him things like "Who's playing good cop and who's playing bad cop?", "Going for another donut, are we?", "ooohh, I'm scared", "I'd like to see you try"and "when do I get my one phone call, buddy?". You'd also like to walk up to those mirrors that double as secret windows and hit it repeatedly and laugh maniacally. (See? you didn't practice for not).

3.) Everytime someone says, "Over my dead body!" you involuntarily think, "that can be arranged!".

2.)You get annoyed when the current bad guy on TV does too much talking and doesn't just kill the victim. "Just do it! Stop talking, you idiot!" you repeatedly scream.

1.)You know all the secrets and always know what's going on. Everyone keeps asking you questions, hoping you'll actually answer, and you'd revel in repeatedly giving them vague, half-assed answers. Ah, the good life.