Extra! Extra! UPSET FOR THE AGES

My feeling going into the game was, "I'm more of an anti-Patriots fan than a pro-Giants fan". My feelings after that game? I can't help but marvel at the classic that unfolded, from the miraculous-did you just see that?-plays (that elusive Quarterback and That Catch) to everything else in between. Those last two and a half minutes were perhaps among the longest two and a half sports minutes I have ever witnessed. That excitement left me struck to the core, fingers shaking, breath unsteady.

This was a Superbowl that any fan could not only enjoy, but revel in. Even if you are a Patriots fan, admit it. You might not have liked the outcome, but you can appreciate the entertainment it provided the rest of us. Coming from a Rams fan, you should just accept quietly. We, too, know the agony of unfathomable defeat. The bitterness of upset. The rollercoaster of emotions from the highest of the high, to ultimately, the lowest of the low. We felt like Superbowl 36 could not possibly be over when it was. We simply hadn't anticipated a loss. It was like we were just warming up when it ended. If you could've just extended time and let your beloved players fulfill their promise! But no, that's not how it works. And while the Patriots at least had their last shot with the final possession of the football in Superbowl 42, the Rams of Superbowl 36 weren't granted that opportunity. I truely believe that had the high flying Rams of '01 had their own final possession, they could've scored. I'm pretty sure every single defeated Superbowl team feels that way, so you can understand why it's hard to let go. And of course, the Rams didn't get their chance and the Patriots won. I know, I know. I sound like a bitter fan (and perhaps I am). I do realize that's just the way life goes sometimes. Your storybook seasons don't always end your way. It's just another chapter in someone else's happy ending. No matter how much you pray or scream or cry or act humbly, there is no reversal of fortunes. Just another loss to be highlighted in the football reels until the end of time.

I know the awful pain you are in, but alas, I cannot feel sorry for you. It hasn't been pretty for a few years now. Following their defeat of the Rams, New Englanders took on the role of a spoiled overnight child star. There was no graciousnous. They couldn't simply appreciate their good fortune in beating the heavily favored Rams and shut up. They had to mock us. Rams fans, on the other hand, while not perfect, will tell you they appreciate the great game the Tennessee Titans helped us deliver in '99. We felt fortunate enough to win after the season we had the year before. We appreciated it and walked off into the sunset. I never went out of my way to gloat to Titans' fans. Instead, I'd always wanted to get their perspective on that last courageous drive.

I've listened to New England's cocky fans revel in our own uncensored shock and others' misery for too long. I've watched the oversaturated media coverage of your own victories repeatedly shown until I've taken up the habit of turning away whenever I see another Superbowl 36 highlight reel coming on. I've seen New England fans gloat over one too many Superbowl (and World friggin' Series) victories to feel sorry for them. Perfection will not be yours. Not this year. The only blemish in your win-loss column happened to be the most important and largest you'd like to erase. A superbowl loss.

On the other side of that is the jubilant winner, of course-a side the New England Patriots have become accustomed to being on. I'd like to extend a whole hearted congratulations to the Giants. Rather than belittle their victory into a Patriots' loss, or say they had one too many balls bounce their way, I believe the better team won tonight. As a St. Louis Cardinals fan, I cannot articulate how frustrating it is to still hear people claim the '06 Cardinals were the worst World Series team to win and they just got lucky. But luck can only carry you so far as you allow it. Yes, the Cardinals were lucky. But every sports team that has ever won a championship has had luck on their side. Look no further than the Patriots-Raiders AFC championship, where, were it not for the "tuck rule", the Raiders probably would've been the victors. This year's Patriots would not have been undefeated until this point had it not been for luck. But although it is an important factor, you cannot win on luck alone. Winning championships are about hard work, taking advantage of the opportunities granted to you and, yes, even luck. The planets were simply aligned for the Giants.

I appreciated this game for all that was riding on it. For the supreme beings that were the Patriots and the belittled underdogs, an unfamiliar territory for a NY team, in the Giants. The game did not let down. It built and built until a climactic ending left us all breathless, a silent shock more resounding after time had run out than any screaming heard during regulation.

And how do you describe that play? The one in which Eli Manning escaped in a magician-like manner. There you saw him, about to tumble down with the Giants' season, and there you didn't, escaping and slipping through the battle weary hands of a half dozen Patriots. On third-and-5 with 59 seconds remaining, the ball sailed through the air covering 32 yards and, as if prompted by a sheer fear of God, David Tyree made one of the most breath-taking catches in modern NFL history on the biggest sports stage. With Rodney Harrison, the leader of the Patriots' Defense covering him, Tyree reached up to seal the Giants' fate, finger tips securing a football over the back of his head in an astonishing play that could half jokingly and half seriously be called back-breaking. The rest is literally history. And just like that, David Tyree will remain legend for the rest of his life no matter what happens here on out. Ask Mike Jones.

Do I feel a slight redemption for our own Superbowl loss? Perhaps. Will I sleep better tonight knowing the fans of New England can finally remember what losing in a heart-breaking fashion feels like? *smile* But is this about six years ago? No. It's about now. The Patriots lost, the dynasty has ended, the empire has fallen. Forget 19-0. The only numbers that count are Giants 17, Patriots 14.

My sister sauntered into my room well after the game had ended, still in shock, still happy beyond the smile that graced her face, and jubilantly proclaimed, "I wonder how they (Patriots' fans) are going to sleep tonight? I hope they have nightmares."

But I think it's safe to say, following one of the greatest upsets in Superbowl history, they've already had one.

Top Ten Reasons You'd Probably Play the Bad Guy on TV

The more I watch TV, the more I realize that, should I play the bad guy, no story I was involved in would have a plot. I wouldn't explain why anything was happening to the good guys, I'd simply get rid of them. Do you ever have the inclination to play the bad guy? Here are the Top Ten Reasons You'd Probably Play the Bad Guy on TV...

10.)Planning and plotting sounds like a fun job. You generally think of yourself as a creative person and this highlights that.

9.) Running away to Mexico does not sound like a crazy idea. Actually, it sounds like a good vacation. You wouldn't have to stay there forever, which is where 'planning and plotting' your way out of there would come in handy.

8.) The good guys annoy you. The bad guys do too, but only cause they won't do the job right.

7.) You've laughed maniacally for over a minute, just to see how it would sound. And it sounded pretty much how you've imagined. Um, maniacal.

6.) You secretly wonder what it would be like to rob a bank, lie to a cop, or pull money from somewhere using your computer like one of those movie-hackers (i.e. Office Space). You'd probably do something like pull a tenth of a penny from 80 million sources. That sounds complicated enough. Good planning and plotting should fit here as well.

5.)You want to leave clues to the cops with words made out of letters cut from different magazine articles. I mean, who doesn't? I'd probably give my next birthday card to someone with a note like that.

4.) You'd like to mock a cop and tell him things like "Who's playing good cop and who's playing bad cop?", "Going for another donut, are we?", "ooohh, I'm scared", "I'd like to see you try"and "when do I get my one phone call, buddy?". You'd also like to walk up to those mirrors that double as secret windows and hit it repeatedly and laugh maniacally. (See? you didn't practice for not).

3.) Everytime someone says, "Over my dead body!" you involuntarily think, "that can be arranged!".

2.)You get annoyed when the current bad guy on TV does too much talking and doesn't just kill the victim. "Just do it! Stop talking, you idiot!" you repeatedly scream.

1.)You know all the secrets and always know what's going on. Everyone keeps asking you questions, hoping you'll actually answer, and you'd revel in repeatedly giving them vague, half-assed answers. Ah, the good life.

TOP FIVE...Lamest Reasons to Leave a Team

Thank you Scott Rolen- my inspiration for this Top Five. I wanted to do a Top Ten, but it was so tedious. There are only so many lame excuses you can find to leave a team.

5.)I want my kids to have a better education in "insert city".

There aren't any major league teams in Alabama or Kentucky. Chances are, wherever the heck you play Major League Baseball, there will be a fantastic school district to put your kids in. This is not only a lame reason to leave a team, it's also an excellent way of making us resent your kids.

4.)I feel like I've done everything I need to do with this team.

Really? Is there a plane ride that involved strip poker and farm animals that we don't know about? Come now, you couldn't have possibly done everything you needed to do with this team.

3.)The fans don't like me.

It's not the fans. It's you. There's probably a good reason the fans don't like you, and if there isn't you're apparently overly sensative anyway. So in the end, the fans trusted their instincts and you proved them right. Bravo (*slow mocking clap*).

2.)They just won the Championship. I'm on their side now!

I'm looking at you, Edgar. How dare you leave us for the Red Sox. Not only did you jump on the bandwagon after they won, you jumped on the bandwagon that ran us over in the process! I'm not a big fan of guys who want in on the winning parade. Although I still love Edgar and wished he had enjoyed that WS win in '06 with us, I still can't believe that he left us for them.

1.)I don't get along with another player or coach.

Oh my god, get the F over yourself. Unless the other player or coach took your wife as their mistress and sold your kids to a circus, you are a grown man capable of doing your job-in a game you love-with the amount of money you make. I'm sure every team has douche bags and everybody learns to live with it as long as you're winning.

Thoughts for the Sports-Minded with A.D.D

• Scott Rolen is leaving us...for another manager. Wow. Can't say I didn't see that one coming, but of all things to leave us for, this is pretty high up there on the "lamest excuse to leave a team" list. Oh, great idea for my next blog! Go me! Go mind!

Rolen's out. Troy Glaus is in. I will miss the stellar defense at 3rd base. And his full speed run to home after hitting a HR-although I've missed much of that power for 2-3 years now. I will not, however, miss the injuries, the injuries, the divorce from TLR, and oh yes, the injuries. I'm ready to move on, not that I had any choice in the matter, but you know what I mean. I'm not mad at him, just tired of the injuries.

• The Patriots are still undefeated and I still want to kick Tom Brady in the nuts.
• A Manning survives to play another play-off game, and God proves he has an unusual sense of humor. And I still want to kick Tom Brady in the nuts. Only, I also want to kick Eli Manning in the nuts. You know this year is bull when Payton is going to be the Manning in those box seats cheering his "a-dur" faced, less talented, less funny brother.

...Less likeable. Sorry! I thought I was done.

• Brett Favre is possessed by, um, a younger Brett Favre. And so the Packs win. But did anyone else notice they beat the Seahawks. Yes, the team that barely beat the woeful Rams. I should've put money on this game! ARG!
• T.O. needs a box of tissues. Apparently, he really cares about Romo. Enough to defend him and cry, anyway. I could never abide a man in tears. It's like watching a fat kid cry. That makes me sad-I won't lie. Tony Romo, though, can rest assured that Jessica Simpson was well worth it (a-ha). I kid, I kid. I would never blame another woman for the downfall of a man's game. *Except Brooke Shields. Agassi totally kicked butt after their divorce.

Here's to hoping the Patriots lose the Superbowl by one lousy field goal! CHEERS!

One of the End of Time signs: Pats go undefeated...

I know, the title is very Debbie Downer of me. It's just that, um, I don't know if anyone has noticed, but I proudly hate on the Pats. Screw 'em!

I was reading this article from ESPN the magazine, begging the question of whether Belichick is actually a jerk or not. I gotta say, even though the author of that article was trying to make a point-in that Belichick is only following the recipe of success and work ethic that many famous Americans are known for-it doesn't help his case in the question of his jerkness. For example, the article cited Andrew Carnegie as someone we can model Bill after because he was apparently on "both sides of the spectrum". They both contribute and donate to charities, yadda yadda yadda, but they also are known for less than boastful situations. In Carnegie's case, steel mill strikes that ended in bloody messes. In Belichick's? Punishing and benching an all star player who had flown out to his grandfather's funeral and didn't return to the Friday practice.

Also, I wouldn't want my main defender in an article questioning whether or not I'm a jerk to be BOBBY KNIGHT, but hey, that's me. I mean, I feel I can obviously respect this little empire of success he has created, but as for his amoral decision-making skills? A-no thank you. Having read the article, I've decided he's basically a jerk who has the ability to do nice things, but wins at all costs-even his soul. Even if it means benching players who go to funerals. Even if it means starting a player with a concussion, and clinical depression as a result of that concussion, against the advice of the team doctor. Even if it means spying or shaking hands after a game like it's something only a Nazi would do. There. That's my head coach rant of the day.

I didn't even watch the Pats play the Giants.

A.) I was hanging with some friends who had only a casual interest in football (but to give them credit, they let me check the score a few times).

B.) If the Pats were going to win, which I honestly expected them to do so more easily than they had, I didn't want to see it. Call me Scrooge. Ba-humbug.

Finally, I don't know why people expect me to feel all glowy and excited about the Patriots going undefeated. I will tell you the only person I am probably happy for, and that's Randy Moss.

I have a fondness for people I feel are unfairly targeted and criticized way too harshly in the media, despite their talent and probably because they say things, or used to, that programs like SportsCenter play over and over again until until some middle aged fat guy at home sitting in his La-Z-Boy recliner with his beer-in-hand feels he can claim Moss is just like T.O. like it is a scientific fact.

So, in a nutshell, go Randy Moss! You show those beer chuggin', middle aged, La-Z-Boy know it alls.

Blabber

I'm not gonna have this long, drawn out response about everything going on. So here are a couple points I'm gonna address quickly.

• The Real World-Sydney:

Um, does anyone else notice how awesomely unstable this season of Real Worlders are? This is good television. The mother of all reality TV is showing who's still boss. Shauvon, aka, the big boobed chick who made out with Isaac, left for her controlling boyfriend. The new ditzy replacement brunette, Ashli, was basically thrown in there to make Dunbar (yes, that's his name) cheat on his gf back home-because he can't control his penis, of course. Trisha, who is up there on- if she doesn't top-the list of evil bitches was sent home packing after pushing the "Muslim" Parisa (and that's after all the pretty harsh verbal abuse Trisha has been dishing at her all season). And yes, there's a guy an Appalachian man (I think) named Cohutta who likes the hoochie Kelly Anne. I just...I can go on, but shame on you for not watching. This season is so good!

• The New England Patriots

Ok, that game against the Baltimore Ravens? It made me sick. I will not give the Patriots credit for that game. They got lucky! Yeah, I said it! The way they won is lucky. As soon time ran out, I stood up, pointed at the television which was showing Tom Brady and announced, "Fuck your mother!". I don't care if people call me haters. I proudly hate on the Patriots and Brady and Belichik. God, please let the Steelers beat them this week. And if you have a bigger and better plan...please let it be the Patriots losing in the first round in some monumental way. I say this realizing that the Pats losing in the first round would be a monumental upset. So, that'll work.

• Scott Rolen vs. Tony La Russa

How are we going to play with our star 3rd baseman and manager at such public odds. Rolen is trying to get traded as we speak. La Russa's throwing verbal jabs at him in public. It's getting pretty ugly. I can live with a trade as long as we get something really good in return. I don't know what's going to happen to the market's interest in Rolen now that the huge trade involving another 3rd baseman has gone through. I guess we'll see, won't we. It doesn't look like the Cards have a lot of moves to make, but it's still a long way til Spring. Speaking of huge trades though...

• The Tigers-Marlins Blockbuster:

The Tigers got Dontrelle Willis AND Miguel Cabrera! WOW! I said this yesterday to my brother, if the Tigers don't win the World Series next year, then their season is a bust. No team with that line up and that starting pitching should lose. That is, of course, unless the Red Sox get Johan Santana, then I still consider them favorites. Well, I guess they're still considered favorites even if they don't get Santana. DAMN YOU RED SOX :) My brother pointed out that SportsCenter went through the list of all-stars the Marlins have gotten rid of since 1997. Just thinking of a few off the top of my head, the aforementioned Willis and Cabrera, and also Derrek Lee, Edgar Renteria and Josh Beckett, makes me want to actually get that list of players the Marlins have traded away. I guess that'll be next time. By the way, if you were a Marlins fan...well, would you still be a Marlins fan? Even if it's pretty much been guaranteed that you're getting young studs in return for your trades and you win the WS every, oh, 6 years? I mean, would you have that sort of patience for ownership?

I guess I had a drawn out response after all. My bad.

Chocolate Cupcakes Can't Fill This Void

I need Cardinals baseball.

December 8th. That's the day the Pujols plans and fancy seat tickets begin to go on sale. Count me among the throng of faithful fools who will be attempting to break through impossibly busy phone lines and internet traffic, hoping to snag a fancy ticket to Opening Day. I want to go to Opening Day. I need to go to Opening Day. I've never been to Opening Day. Last year, I went downtown before the game, just to be around people going to Opening Day. There, I've said it. If I find out any one of you are going to Opening Day and don't have an extra ticket for me, I will steal your kidneys. And maybe your uterus-just for good measure. Let's see how good you feel going to Opening Day without your kidneys! Or Uterus. I don't care if you're a man! I will TAKE YOUR UTERUS!!!

Ok, now that's out of my system, I'll let you know how that goes...

Mizzou lost, I accepted that. It wasn't exactly a close game all the way through. Plus, I was playing card games and smoking hookah aka argeela aka sheesha at a friend's, so I wasn't as 100% focused as I was the week before. Which resulted in a not-so-shitty night on what could've been an uber shitty night. I've come to wake up today and find out not only is Mizzou not playing in a Bowl game...teams like Kansas, who Mizzou beat the week before, are. See? This is why I don't let my heart get completely invested in college sports. That's Bowlshit. Ha! You see how I made a play on words? Instead of bull...well...nevermind...

The Rams won today, but I was blacked out-couldn't watch. No, I didn't have that great a night. Fox blacked out the game to the STL because apparently all the rich bastards who could afford to buy tickets every week before are suddenly MIA. This is a new thing I've come to get used to this season. I hope for road games so I can actually enjoy watching a Rams football game. Even if they lose like they did to Seattle last week. Well, maybe not so much. But they beat the Falcons today in a battle of the sucky teams. Maybe the Rams org. should've dubbed this game, "The battle for least suckiest between the most suckiest in the land" and more people would've shown up. Not anyone from Miami, but you never know. Ok, that joke sucked. But I promise my jokes will get better once a St. Louis sports team starts winning. Ok?

NEWS FLASH:The Cards signed SS Cesar Izturas. That means bye-bye Eckstein. The era of the little man is over. No more super hustle to first. No more "pesky man" discussions every single goddamn time he was on ESPN or FOX or in the Post Season or on SportsCenter or Baseball Tonight or what ever. Oh well. Bye. Didn't wanna commit to 4 years with ya. Everything's just so messed up. I wish Renteria was still with us. Yeah, I'm that bitter old person who reminisces about sitting by the radio listening to good quality family shows with the folks while claiming I walked in the snow for 4 hours to get to school and loved every second of it. Yeah, I'm that guy.

Oh, and Winter meetings are up soon. The Cards need pitching. What's new?

Chocolate Cupcakes also can't fill the void that has popped up since new episodes of The Office haven't aired on Thursday nights. What's the point of television now? The only thing that would cheer me up right now is a Patriots loss...especially in the post-season. Badia salivates and blacks out-Fox style.